Ten Statements About....THEY CAME FROM BEYOND SPACE (1967)

60's mod fashions took a weird turn towards the end...

"Have you ever known meteors to land in formation?"
"No."
"These did. In a perfect 'V'."

1) The fascinating thing about this Amicus-produced science fiction thriller is that even though it is made in the mid-60's, it feels 100% like a B movie from the 50's. The look, the feel, the dialogue all seem to indicate that this would not be out of place in a Drive-In circa 1957, directed by Roger Corman filtered through a decidedly British sensibility.

2) Of course, there's another influence that seems to have been overlaid on the proceeding in its set design and the way main character Temple is a punching, kicking foo'--namely, 60's spy culture. There are many, many moments that has definite echoes of The Avengers and other spy television series, especially when it comes to the sequences where Robert Hutton's Temple finds his way into the aliens' secret base. And speaking of Hutton....

3) ...throughout the film I couldn't help but think that the script was written with a much, much younger man in mind. The physicality of Temple, the way he seems to be a hit with the female leads, the way the script refers to his recklessness and love of sports cars, looks odd with the almost 50 year old Hutton doing it all, especially since in many scenes he's noticeably older than everyone around him. It's a weird sense of frisson that sometimes pulls you out of the film.

4) What the Hell was the point of Luanshya Greer's Gas Station Attendant? They give her quite a build up, flirting furiously with Temple (which is akin to your best friend in high school coming on to your grandma), saving him at a key point, being around when the Crimson Plague hits...and then is seen as a corpse later as an afterthought.

5) There's a good reason that Zia Mohyedden's Farge doesn't work as a sidekick--not only does he not come into the film until very late into the proceeding (well into the third act), but he has no characterization whatsoever...and no, showing us all his horse riding trophies doesn't count, as those trophies end up as a punchline that leads to the resolution of the hour and change of running around after alien-possessed scientists.

 

6) And while we're on the subject of those weapons that Farge and Temple devise to combat the aliens...man, are they goofy. The trio running around with Silver motorcycle helmets and those big goofy goggles that seem made out of cardboard and aluminum foil is as ludicrous a sight as we can see in any of those Drive-In classic.

"Oh, that thing overhead?  It's my career, trying to escape the
awfulness of this film."

7) And then we get Michael Gough's embarassingly named 'Master Of The Moon,' another alien-possessed human....but my question is why, oh why did he and his pals on the moon swap their normal clothes for the cast-offs from a high school production of Flash Gordon? It's not as if these aliens have shown any concern for style or fashion or anything like that. And it's a pity that these bargain basement costumes detract, because Gough is his usual reliable self in his brief appearance.

8) Even though it's wildly inappropriate, I got a kick out of James Stevens' jazz score. There's something so of its time about the way that score just jumped in at strange points in the plot, seeming so at odds with the staid stuff that's being depicted on screen.

"I know, I know...whatever you do, don't mention the
collander on his head."

9) There's a decided lack of consistency in the plot--first we've got this whole 'Crimson Plague' thing that's referred to by Temple as the 'Scarlet Plague,' which then is dropped after a bit because we never know why or how the Plague has been introduced by the aliens, and then we've got all these intimations of something sinister going on with the aliens, only for them to drop all pretensions when confronted with Temple and confess they just wanna go home. This is a script that should've had another pass or two before it was shot.

10) I understand that they couldn't have used the original name of the novel this film was based on--The Gods Hate Kansas--but couldn't they have come up with something in the same vein? Just saying is all.

Overall...a not-very-good film that probably proves why Hammer stayed far away from science fiction after looking at what little brother Amicus wrought with this, it still has its moments as a goofy, so-bad-it's-funny (notice I didn't say good) curio. And it's available on archives.org for free!

Ten Statements About....BLADE RUNNNER--The Final Cut (1982)

Ford's character owes more to Sam Spade than Flash
Gordon....

"Commerce is our goal here at Tyrell. More Human Than Human is our motto. Rachel is an experiment, nothing more."

1) Just as Alien was an old dark house horror film, it's obvious that Ridley Scott intended this film to be a film noir detective thriller, and everyone acts accordingly, right down to how pretty much everyone smokes and drinks like their lives depended on it. I particularly like the way production designer Lawrence J. Paull manages to find a way to make the costumes and sets a true melding of futurist and 40's esthetic.

2) There literally isn't a bad performance in the film's 117 minute running time. Even Sean Young. Yes, she's skittish and hesitant like a baby deer and seems a bit emotionally flat--but that's the character. All the identified replicants have broad, child-like personalities that makes them seem off from the identified humans (save Sebastian, but he's set apart by his disease), so in the context, Young's performance works.

3) And here's something I didn't notice until this viewing--there are a number of moments with Young's Rachel, particularly in the major scene she shares with Deckard at the halfway mark, where Scott switches to a Steadicam. Those moments, mainly when it involves Rachel in close-up, display a very subtle unsteadiness not to the insane shakey-cam levels we've experienced recently, but almost subliminally noticable. These shots seem to emphasize Rachel's skittishness as she leaves the sheltered world of Tyrell and enters Deckard.

Damn...they don't make women like her anymore...

4) One of the reasons this film works so well is that outside of Harrison Ford (and even Ford is still in the early stages of his big style stardom), none of the actors are particularly well-known. Even Brion James, who probably had the biggest cv at this point amongst the main players, was known for secondary heavy roles. This creates a veracity that feeds into our accepting the world painted here whole.

5) I miss actresses like Joanna Cassidy, who had an unselfconsciousness about their bodies. There's really no doubt that it's all her in that scene where Dekard runs down Zora, and she is spectacular.

6) I find it fascinating how the Tyrell and Sebastian suss out what Roy and Priss are quickly, and respond not with the revulsion you'd get from Deckard's debriefing scene, but a pleased wonder. I particularly find Tyrell's discussion with Roy, explaining how they've tried a number of things to cure the short lifespan, fascinating...the fact that he argues how Roy should embrace the brevity of his life displays a certain depth corporate questionable types wouldn't display in the many imitators afterwards.

7) The biggest difference between this version and the theatrical one is, of course, the lack of Ford's voiceover. The film is still understandable, as the plot is pretty straightforward and linear...however (and here comes some heresy) the voiceover might not be out of place. This is for almost an hour and thirty minutes a film noir, where the voiceover is a standard trope. However....

His origins may be Frankenstien, but make no mistake--
Roy Batty is the big bad wolf.

8) There's a decided, but not jarring, shift in the film from the moment Deckard enters the Bradbury Hotel from film noir to a horror film. I'd say it becomes an old style horror movie, with Priss and Roy literally playing monster in stalking and trying to kill Deckard. Hell, Roy's howling as he runs around naked save for black biker shorts makes it explicit that this last replicant has become a modern day Wolf Man hunting the prey that seeks to end the life it wants to extend.

9) It's been so long since I've seen this film that it's a shock seeing William Sanderson in such a gentle, repressed role. First off because he looks so young save for the shots where we see all the lines in his face, but secondly because we're so used to Sanderson being hard-asses and assholes. Seeing him play this pathetic figure so starved for human contact that he lets his own death in is surprising.

10) One of my favorite things in this film as a whole? The lighting. Sometimes using natural light, sometimes using color in key ways....and frequently taking advantage of the sweeping spots that seem to permeate the city...it once again gives us another element that makes the film seem alien, but also firmly in a territory we're familiar with.

Overall...a film that I had to grow up a little to appreciate (I actually walked out on it on opening day in 1982 at the ninety minute mark, thinking it boring and plodding), this is another perfect storm of a film, where all the disparate parts come to together to create something unique and wondrous. And hell, it's the only film you can say helped launch an entire literary sub-genre in cyberpunk. Absolutely essential viewing.

Ten Statements About....INVADERS FROM MARS (1986)

"He is not a madball...he is my BOYFRIEND!"

"They're huge, ugly, giant, slimy Mr. Potato Heads!"

1) The biggest flaw in this film--a flaw that threatens to topple it whole into true suckitude--is the performance of lead Hunter Carson. The kid has his face screwed up perpetually as if he's trying to recover from being hit by a 2x4, and his line reading are overdone. However...

2) the reason this flaw doesn't kill this film is that Carson not only has a good rapport with his real life mother Karen Black, who plays his estwhile ally school nurse Linda, but his onscreen mother and father, Timothy Bottoms and Larraine Newman. Even with Carson's lackluster performance, the three of them feel like an actual family, which makes the changes in the parents so creepy in spite of the subtlety.

3) In fact, Timothy Bottoms' George Gardner gives, hands down, the film's best performance. The changes he affects between Normal George and Possessed George are amazingly subtle, yet recognizable. I could certainly believe that the adults would not notice that George is different.

Maybe the little guy was dropped on his head as
a kid...yeah, that's it...

4) Boy, does Louise Fletcher dig into his scenery dinner with both hands as Mrs. Mckeltch, who becomes the human 'face' of the aliens. Granted, since an argument can be made that her conversion happens before we first meet her, we never get a sense of her 'before' self, but her vigorous performance makes for some fun--and since this film is not about scares per se, but fun, it's exactly what the film needs.

5) And that's the big surprise--that Tobe Hooper never loses sight of the fact that the original was a science fiction film for kids. Thus, there is more action than violence, and the scare scenes are more gross than horrifying, like when Carson catches Fletcher downing a live frog.

6) I really dig the alien designs by Sam Winston, these strange madball like monstrosities that are mostly teeth with long arms and stubby legs. Plus it's obvious a lot of thought went into the design of the ship around them, with its emphasis on round objects--even their guns are orbs that hang onto the side of their heads. It's distinct...and yet, it's also comes off as if a child's drawing came to life.

7) It's weird seeing Karen Black in this film. She's at the end of her 'sex symbol' days, but is still physical enough to carry on all the running around and screaming she's asked to assay...but even now, it's hard for me to see her then without also seeing the human grotesque she has become.

"I'm in the alien scalping business...and business is picking up."

8) Is James Karen not one of the most under-appreciated character actors of this era? We see him once again assaying a character different from the ones he's more noted for--and like those other roles, he infuses his idealized General Climet Wilson with a life all its own, making him come off as a soldier's soldier, a grown up boy scout.

9) I like the fact that just as that first act comes off as a typical young boy's nightmare, that third act comes off as a typical young boy's action dream. The soldiers all defer to him, everyone is all about protecting him first and foremost, and it's David who provides the essential information that allows everyone to escape. And because this whole climax is tailored to David's interests and desires it doesn't make the 'it was all a dream' twist come off as a cheat, but as a logical conclusion after what we've seen.

10) If I was Tobe Hooper, I would have ended this film a tiny bit earlier, with David looking on horrified as Strange Lights Play On His Face. Sure, the real last shot, with him giving us that same horrified look as he opens his parent's door, is kinda ambiguous, but the shot of the ship landing sort of blunts what could have been a chilling moment.

Overall...forgotten because of the one-two punch of it being a Tobe Hooper film with no blood and a Cannon Film (man, was it weird seeing that old 'unfolding hexagon' logo at the start of the pic), this is a shockingly affectionate little paen to kid's science fiction that has equally shocking excellent moments. I've always assumed that Hooper was one of those directors who had only one good film in him who had the misfortune of doing that one good film right out the box...but this shows what he could have done if he wasn't pushed back into the horror box time and again.

Ten Statements About....TORCHWOOD: MIRACLE DAY Episode One 'The New World' (2011)

I don't know...I'd almost bet on Gwen Cooper kicking Sarah
Conner's ass in the Sci-Fi Mom Sweepstakes...

".First I knew they were calling from the morgue, they were laughing. They said, 'what's happening up there, you all on strike?' Turns out no one had died. 24 hours since this hospital had a death. Not one. Not from old age, not from injury, not from sickness. All day long."

1) I have a really, really bad feeling that Mekhi Phifer's Rex is going to never rise higher than being The Ugly American. Except for a couple of moments (one of which we'll cite below), he's so broad in his 'fuck Wales, fuck everything, I'm the man' attitude that it takes away from the flow of the story.

2) God, how I missed the interaction between Eve Myles (still looking hot-but-approachable) and Kai 'The Jason Segal of Wales' Owens. Those two, and their interactions with the other supporting cast, have always been the secret weapon of this show, and seeing them still having that divine chemistry is a joy. Even if Davies has decided to Sarah Conner the both of them....

3) What's more annoying that someone saying the name of a movie in the movie? Several people saying the name several times over the space of ten seconds...just like when you have everyone mention Torchwood...you know, 'cause this is about Torchwood, right?

Torchwood.

Get used to this face...'cause this is pretty much the only
emotion Mekhi Phifer is allowed to have.

4) Jesus Christ...I feel so sorry for Bill Pullman, who is a good actor, playing this thoroughly one-dimensional monstrosity. He seems to be in this season for much the same reason Billy Connolly's charcter was in that awful X-Files: I Want To Believe--giving him this extraordinary status solely so that Davies can have people rail at him for being a child-killing monster and make everyone in the show seem better for disapproving of him.

5) I do give Davies credit for having the courage to keep Captain Jack offstage until the twenty minute mark, and not playing him right away in a positive light. Hell, I know the history of the character and even I found his first appearance here borderline creepy.

6) I'm beginning to think that Davies strength is not characterization--because I find almost all of his characters broad and ill-formed, lacking any sort of subtlety--but his ability to spot people who have the right qualities, both alone and in concert with others, to bring those characters the depth he in incapable of giving them. Seeing John Barrowman's Captain Jack interact with Alexa Havins' Esther Drummond brings her character--up until that point a very bog standard innocent bystander--to life, and gives both of them the same sort of vitality that Gwen and Rhys have.

7) Okay, that autopsy scene? Veeeeery creepy, and helped by the very quiet cutaways to Mekhi Phifer's reactions to what was going on. It's prolly the high point of the episode.

That blur at the bottom?  The single creepiest thing in this
episode....

8) I know I talked about her above...but God, I hope the greater distribution of this will show the world what Eve Myles is capable of, and get her more work. Lots more work. The scene with her parents, where she goes from comedy to tragedy seamlessly but logically is brilliant.

9) Admittedly, the idea that the one thing that puts fear in Captain Jack is the fact that he can be injured is pretty cool.

10) The final action sequence that brings our cast together again? Pretty. Damn. Choice.

Overall...this thing seems to be a step down from the nearly pitch perfect 'Children of Earth, and suffers from an extreme need to remind us over and over about what this series is about. It smacks a bit more of Season Two, which was uneven but got better as it went along. I'm not ready to throw up my hands and walk away just yet, but I'm not exactly

Ten Statements About....ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF THE APES (1971)

"Well, this is...awkward."

"At first they grunted their refusal. But then on a historic day which is commemorated by my species and documented in the sacred scrolls, there came Aldo. He did not grunt. He articulated. He spoke a word that had been spoken to him time without number by humans. He said....no."

1) The strength of this film lies in Kim Hunter and Roddy McDowall. These two actors are now so comfortable in the skins of Zira and Cornelius that they're capable of carrying this film on their backs effortlessly.

2) Just as the strength of Dr. Zaius is in the fact that he is never quite the villain--and in some aspects is doing things for the right reasons, the strength of Eric Braeden's Dr. Hasslien is that in some way he's doing these things for the right reasons as well. Sadly, Braeden gives up his more subtle interpretation for something more shooty in the final act, but for the bulk of the film the good doctor works.

"That's right...I'll shoot you...then your baby...and I'll be a
hero--or a dick, I haven't worked that out yet."

3) I really liked the fact that while the first act can be seen as the broadest and most satirical the series has been to date, Paul Dehn's script doesn't date--which is pretty amazing given that the film is nailed down as taking place in 1973.

4) I wish that Sal Mineo's Milo was established either earlier in the series, or given more of a part in this film. As it is, his impact on Zira and Cornelius is an informed attribute--and he's strangled to death by a gorilla after uttering only a handful of lines.

5) You got to wonder if the whole sequence where our main characters are feted as celebrities was Dehn's own slight commentary on the Ape-mania that was sweeping young America at this time.

6) It's easy to understand why everyone pretty much remembers Ricardo Montalban's Armando over Bradford Dillman's Lewis. Montalban is so alive in his few scenes here, so vital and full of energy that he threatens to steal the show with every line.

7) The opening sequence, played out with musical accompaniment, is wonderfully played out and ends with the punchline of our heroes removing their space helmets. If I didn't know I was watching a Planet of The Apes movie, I'd be suprised.

I don't care how evolved you are...early 70's fashion
never looks good.

8) I understand why Cornelius commiting murder in self-defense was neccessary--it gives Dr. Hasslien an excuse for going so militant...but it's so at odds with these characters, who emphasize in both this film and Beneath... that they're pacifists who sat out the war.

9) I think I understood that Zira switched her baby--who will become the Ape leader Caeser, played by McDowell in the last two films--with Heloise before they left Armando's Circus...but it's never made fully clear, and makes the baby's fall into the ocean a little bitter tasting.

10) Similarly, I understand why the script brought in the idea of alternate universes as an explanation for the Ape future...but it sort of muddies the water, especially when Dr. Hasslien's argument for destroying Zira and Cornelius hinges on accepting that theirs is our only future.

Overall...this was one of my favorites of the original cycle when I was a kid, and I'm surprised at how well it still holds up. Yes, there are broad moments of comedy--but the masterful acting by McDowall and Hunter conveying the pathos and tragedy of these character's deteriorating situation make for an excellent viewing experience.

Ten Statements About....BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES (1970)

"What the?  He got a cool jacket!  Why
can't I have a cool jacket?"

"Mr. Taylor, Mr. Brent, we are a peaceful people. We don't kill our enemies. We get our enemies to kill each other."

1) sigh...Another example of a sequel that was made without understanding why the original kicked so much ass. This film takes a similar tack the original does, but without the subtlety, grace or wit of that original...resulting in a mess.

2) One of the major reasons why this simply doesn't work is because James Franciscus' Brent has no personality, no character arc, no purpose in the film other than to stumble from one set-piece to another with Nova in tow until he finds Taylor. Once Brent finds Taylor, Heston takes over by dint of charisma only long enough to get his ass shot.

3) Wow...there's a character in this movie actually called Negro, and called so unironically. It's still a shock when you realize how far perceptions have come.

4) I do appreciate how Maurice Evans continues to keep Dr. Zaius true to his conception in the original film. His motivations are still thoroughly understandable if not exactly virtuous, and there are moments where he is honestly in the right. It's a rare moment of grace from the previous film....

I find it amusing that The Forbidden Zone...is my hometown..

5) That is drowned in acid by the one-sided villainy of General Ursus, who is the engine that so hamfistedly drives the film's Vietnam metaphor. Granted, James Gregory is wonderfully vigorous in playing the General, but the character is so unbalancing it's not even funny.

6) It also doesn't help that the mutants, well, are dicks. I know that Paul Dehn's screenplay must've been in love with the idea of them being the sort of 'Military Industrial Complex' side of Ape World, but they're just so loathsome in the way they'd rather torture Brent than learn about his culture.

7) You know, for all the awfulness of this movie, that one sequence with Brent and Nova walking their way around the Matte Paintings Of New York is really cool. The fact that these sequences are done with the alternating blasts of total silence and noise make them a fascinating tableau.

"I want you to go in there...and OVERACT as if your SAG
Card depended on it!"

8) That 'ping' noise we get before the mutants deign to talk normally reaaaaally gets on my nerves.

9) So, ummmm, apparently the mutants are masters of vulcanizing rubber...I mean, what was the whole point of hiding their multi-colored veiny-faces when they usually don't see anyone besides other vieny-faces? And they're not as scary as I remembered them being back in the days.

10) I wonder if the film would have been affected at all if the script just forewent that lil' sidetrip to visit Zira and Cornelius entirely. It's not like anything gets advanced save for a couple of laugh lines..

Overall...this is one of the first films I saw as a child--my parents took me to see it at the old Sunrise Drive-In during its first run--and man, does this suffer. This film's heavy-handedness and clumsy script writing obliterates the entertainment factor of what is, at its core, two groups of pricks taking aim at our astronauts (oh, and Nova The Dopey-Faced Tribal Gal)

Ten Statements About....PLANET OF THE APES (1968)

Even though the two male figures here behave badly, neither
is the bad guy...which is the beauty of this film.

"My dreams aren't like yours. I can't help thinking that somewhere in the universe there must be something better than man. There has to be."

1) I had forgotten how many long stretches of this film go on without any of Jerry Goldsmith's exceptional score--and that's for the better. By using it only sparingly, at key moments, the score itself becomes something of a character, a greek chorus commenting on Taylor's plight.

2) Boy...is Taylor a dickhead through most of this film...but then, I suspect he needed to be an extreme dickhead to make the signs that he does transform due to his experiences all the more obvious.

3) Maybe it's the strength of the actors involved, the expressiveness of the make-up effects or a combination of both, but after a while the ape make-up becomes more-or-less invisible after a little bit, and you accept the apes as characters and not people in suits.

There is a way to make someone put on a monkey
mask and make them real characters...

4) Perhaps the movie's best performance is given by Maurice Evans' Zaius. Unlike Tim Roth's Thade in Tim Burton's 2001 remake, you never get the sense that Zaius is an enemy. He shows something akin to respect toward Taylor after a bit even as he resists him, and you certainly get the sense that even if he finds some of the things he does or has done distasteful, he believes he is doing it for the good of his society.

5) Boy, do I love how director Franklin J. Schaffner gets around budgetary constraints--the way he depicts the space ship crash without the use of miniatures or opticals is masterful and amazing.

6) The only character who gets on my nerves is Lou Wagner's Lucius, who is obviously intended to be an character for 'the young kids' to identify with...and his counterculture spouting is cliched and heavy handed.

7) I guess because it's been quoted--and misquoted--so many times, I forgot how subtle the ending was, especially given that Schaffner has the courage to let the scene and the credits that follow play out only with ambient sound. The only thing that bugs me now about it is Heston's over-the-top punching of the final lines.

"We'll see how you like it when I throw poop at you!"

8) I know there are people who consider this funny and satirical...but, truth be told, I don't see it. I can certainly see its value as a political simile about prejudice, civil rights and the suppression of information, but--whether because of the way the script is written, or because of my viewing it some forty years out of time--I don't see the humor in much of it. Except when, like with the see-no-evil-etc. shot, the humor is over-the-top.

9) I do like the fact that ape society is certainly primitive and has echoes of other primitive societies--there are glimmers of the wild west and middle eastern cultures in there--but it's not one that reflects a certain era in human society one hundred percent.

10) For a film that's two hours long, and one I had an impression was slow going, it's actually very well paced. Even the longish sequences toward the end have purposes.

Overall...I'm surprised at how well I liked this (I have not watched this film for roughly three decades). It's much smarter than I remember; very well acted save for Heston, who never met a line he couldn't chew up and spit out; and does a really cool bit of world building. It makes me feel better about visiting the other four films in the original cycle in the coming days.