Ten Statements About....THE AVENGERS (2012)

"You gotta strut, pout, put it out/that's what you want from..."

"The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. 'Earth's Mighiest Heroes' type thing."
"Yes, I've met them."
"Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them."

1) I owe Joss Whedon an apology, as in this film he manages to prove he is able to do big-ass on-screen action and super-heroics...and manages to find new and engaging ways to do said big-ass on-screen action (although there is a moment which makes me wonder if he was aware of the criticism some people leveled at him, myself included, and decided to spoof it).

2) Mark Ruffalo's take on Bruce Banner is rather interesting. There's a strange sense of humor running under his take, a kind of bemused sarcasm that plays off of Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark really well. And while I still don't buy the reasoning Banner gives for controlling his Hulk-Outs in the third act, I can see how Ruffalo made those choices to bolster that contention.

3) At first, I really thought Clark Gregg's beloved Agent Coulson was acting out of character when he went all fanboy in the presence of Chris Evans' Captain America...but then I realized that what Whedon was doing was showing how Coulson's admiration for Cap is what spurred him on to become the super-cool secret agent we've grown to like in the previous four films, that Cap's selflessness became a template for Coulson's sense of duty and honor, and spurs on his actions later in the film.

4) One of the things I really, really appreciated was how we had our heroes actively using their powers to save people at time rather than just beating things up. Iron Man trying to jumpstart the helicarrier, Cap making the save in the bank....these moments gave us a sense of these characters being heroes and not just gaily-dressed guys beating up armored lizard guys.

"Goodness...is that...our profits?"

5) So first Scarlett Johanssen, now Cobie Smolders...is it the agenda of these movies to get every woman I think is hot squeezed into a formfitting SHIELD uniform? Can I look forward to Kristen Bell playing Daisy Johnson? Maybe McPhee as Victoria Head?

6) I was also appreciative that the only real member of the Joss Whedon Day Players was Alex Denisoff's Other (unless you count Chris Hemmworth, who got Thor thanks to Cabin In The Woods)--and he was buried under make-up. But then, this is perhaps the least Whedon-feeling of Whedon's productions, even though there are large elements that are Whedon-esque.

7) While Tom Hiddleston's Loki acts a great deal more like an actual super-villain, he's still excellent in the role. He successfully gives us a proper face to the Big Shouty Alien Bug Invasion, and both puts forth his agenda ('It's easier to give up freedom, isn't it?') with a degree of rational thought and revels in his mischief.

"So you really think I'll be sticking around as Banner?"

8) While I recognize that the 'meet-and-fight' sequence that pulls the curtain down on Act One is there to give us a legitimate action beat while also giving fanboys a bit of a thrill...I wonder if it was actually necessary. It's not like Fury wouldn't have briefed everyone on each other, or that they'd be aware of each other's abilities. Yeah, it's a satisfying dust-up, but it could easily, easily have been sidestepped with a few lines of dialogue...

No, wait...this isn't supposed to be a Brian Michael Bendis comic.

Wow....that's....ummm, kinda tight, innit,
Cobie?"

9) I also recognize that someone had to get the short end of the stick, and I'm not surprised that it's mostly Those New Kids--Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye (who comes off as pretty much a cipher) and Smolder's Maria Hill. However, I am impressed that the script gives us a sense of both characters in the main action that we don't feel too left out. Hell, in the case of Hawkeye, what we learn made me actively interested in seeing this talked-about Hawkeye and Black Widow movie if said movie was a prequel that revealed the story they referenced a couple of time.

10) That last act could have been a massive mess of shaky-cam confusion...but I love how Whedon came up with lots of innovative action set pieces (the way Cap and Iron Man worked together utilizing the shield to focus and direct the repulsor blasts) and moments of genuine characterization that kept the film's momentum engaging. It's absolutely fitting that the last moment in the film includes a testimony from a seeming bystander making reference to Cap saving her during that last act.

Overall...about as great as a super-hero movie could be while still being unapologetically a super hero movie, this is the greatest movie little twelve year old Tom could have imagined when he was reading those old Shooter/Perez issues....and is a great two hours and change for adult Tom to experience. Here's hoping the next one is half as fun.

Ten Statements About....SLAMMIN' SALMON (2009)

In some cultures, stuffing a fish down a man's throat is a
sign of friendship and respect...not here, of course...

"I am so sorry, but her soup face scared the shit out of me. My voice is not that high."

1) This is the first Broken Lizard film not directed by Jay Chandrasekhar--Kevin Heffernan helms this one--and there is a definite disconnect here, partially due to Heffernan suffering from First Director Anxiety. He throws in so many different fancy tricks and transitions that it sometimes distracts from what is usually the strength of a Broken Lizard film...namely the characters and the performances.

2) I am relieved that Michael Clarke Duncan, an actor I fear is slipping into R. Lee Ermy syndrome (you know what I mean...playing variations of the same character in perpetuity), actually gets to do something lighter than he usually does. I wouldn't say he has a talent for comedy, but his timing is really good and he comes off well...

3) For that matter, so does Lance Henrickson, of all people, who plays a funhouse mirror version of Dick Wolf and does show the kind of talent for comedy those of us who are fans of his always suspected he had in those rare moments of Season Two of Millenium.

4) Given that Jay Chandrasekhar has the biggest career of this group, and could insist on better treatment, I have to give him so much credit for being absolutely fearless in taking the most embarrassing roles for himself. I don't think he's gone through a film since Super Troopers where he hasn't had some form of extreme indignity thrust upon his person--you know, like being featured bare assed through large portions of this film....

"Now I want you to drop and give me twenty decent jokes...not
the crap you're spouting in this movie!"

5) I do wish that Erik Stolhanske had moved forward a lot earlier to play the bad guy. Granted, he's a douche from the start, but so are a number of characters, and given the film the Lizards chose to spoof in this film they needed a clearer cut villain to work against.

6) And speaking of the film this was designed to spoof...it's obvious fairly early on that Slammin' Salmon is supposed to be a comedic version of Glengarry Glen Ross...except that it gets lost in other things, like the increasingly gross mishaps that befall April Bowlby's Mia or Chandrasekhar's Nuts becoming 'Zongo' once he's off his meds, and loses its focus in the last forty minutes or so.

7) Another first time director mistake Heffernan makes is in making his own Rich into a central character--to the point where he has the major climatic beat when he stands up to Duncan's Cleo Salmon. It might explain why the film comes off as disjointed at times. Maybe if some of Rich's character traits, like his being married to Salmon's sister, were distributed to others, the film wouldn't seem so unbalanced.

Yep...'cause nothing says a good time at the movies than a
hot blonde with severe 1st degree burns...

8) I guess we can add Colbie Smolders to the list of actresses I actually find quite attractive and engaging as long she's not playing the role everyone knows her for...so you just get in line behind Olivia Wilde, dear....

9) You know, I wonder if the film would also have benefited from having many of its cameos discarded. I mean, I guess it's flattering that Viveca A. Fox or Morgan Fairchild or Jim Gaffigan wants to be in your movie...it doesn't necessarily mean you need to use them all in the same film and give them all storylines.

10) With that being said, I do like how Will Forte's little-longer-than-a-cameo story played out...prolly because it ties in directly to the resolution of the film's A plot.

Overall...this is not the worst Broken Lizard film--let's be honest, they could do a film about them crapping on paper plates and it'd still be better than the reprehensible Puddle Cruiser--but it is unfocused and meandering, tending to get more involved in its side stories than keeping its eye on the main tale. I still will watch anything this group will do, but it doesn't make me laugh as hard as Super Troopers or Beerfest.