Ten Statements About....COWBOYS AND ALIENS (2011)

"Watch out!  The mechanical brine shrimp is after us!"

"I don't know what it is, but it's bleeding."

1) You know you're in trouble when you have seven writers attached to your script. Because when you have that many writers, each with their own ideas on the script, you sometimes end up with a lot of 'Just Go With It.'

2) I was encouraged at times by the implication that Harrison Ford's Dolarhyde might be more of a villain in this. He certainly acts monstrously, and he also gets points for being named after a serial killer in a Thomas Harris novel. But once the aliens show up, he starts slowly reverting to the typical Harrison Ford Hero-type. By the time we get to Adam Beach telling the Apache Chief what a good man Dolarhyde is, you realize we're supposed to believe it as well in spite of the horrendous stuff we've seen him doing.

Yes, Ms. Wilde..I will ride your trail...

3) I really wish we had more about the nameless Frog-Cricket-Spider things that are the titular alien...or about the alien race that Olivia Wilde's Ella comes from (Oh, c'mon...anyone who couldn't have figured that out from the trailer I saw ninety times in the coming months wasn't paying attention). Yes, you don't have to explain everything to make me happy, but you need to explain something. Just telling us that, hey, these things wants your gold just isn't enough...

4) At first, I was encouraged a bit by how it seemed Favreau cast a number of actors against type--Clancy Brown as a preacher, for example...but while the window dressing is different, their actions show us that they're actually being cast to type.

5) Okay, look here, Frog-Cricket-Spider-thingies...your scout ships are these weird techno-organic brine shrimp-like creations, but your ship is...a rocket. You can be either techno-organic or technologically inclined; you can't be both.

6) I've always wondered what you can see when you drink peyote tea, and now I know...you see the worst CGI hummingbird imaginable.

7) Once again, I am confronted with a movie where I find Olivia Wilde incredibly sexy. Hell, I'd be fine with her playing Lara Croft now that I've seen her in a ponytail...as long as they give her a stetson and a sideways gunbelt as well....or maybe nothing but...

...which once again proves the fact that I can't stand Thirteen is entirely the fault of the writers and creator of House

Yep...I've had nights where I wake up in the middle of
nowhere with some techno-gun welded to my wrist....

8) I do have to give credit to the film for giving us a tribe of Apache warriors who only speak Apache. While it's obvious that Favreau really wants to hearken back to an old-school Western feel, there are tiny touches like this that ground the film in some semblance of reality.

9) It really, really surprised me that, given how many times Favreau gives us moment where he draws attention to how both Craig and Wilde both have vivid blue, distinctive eyes, the film never pulled the trigger on the idea that maybe Craig's Lonegan was an alien as well. It strikes this might have been the intention in one of the earlier drafts, but it got shunted off by the wayside. It would certainly have given the ending the bittersweetness the film was obviously going for.

10) This is prolly due to the actors all around, but Ford, Craig and even Keith Carridine manage to make the whole 'they hated each other, and now they respect each other' thing work. Still doesnt make the happy and bright ending with everybody loving each other and wearing their Sunday Best.

Overall...even though there are some moments, this is a disappointment for being just another 'Just Go With It' action film. There needed to be a little meat on its bones, a little more mythology to support the performances.

Saw this at The Atlas--which, for some reason, turned on the lights three minutes before the credits rolled--and suffered through such horrors as the much-threatened Battleship (shame on you, Peter Berg...shame on you); Brett Ratner's latest product, the Ben Stiller/Eddie Murphy caper flick Tower Heist which is notable for the inclusion of Alan Alda and a very thinning-on-the-top Matthew Broderick; and Final Destination 5, which at least has the good sense to bring back Tony Todd. And thank God I missed the Firstlook, because I would have started screaming during the preview of that abomination that is supposed to be the Straw Dogs remake.

Ten Statements About....TRON LEGACY (2010)

Even in the computer world of The Grid, road rage is an issue

1) I know I am usually very down on CGI as a whole--but this is a film where the use of it was not only acceptable, but necessary. Although....

2) The biggest special effect is undoubtably making the de-aged face of Jeff Bridges look absolutely realistic when he plays CLU.

3) I really like how the script by Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz incorporates the marketing for the original Tron seamlessly--and even I felt a thrill when I saw Garrett Hedlund's Sam walk into Flynn's Arcade to see, among other things, the old school Tron stand-up console game.

4) Hedlund may not be the greatest actor--but I like how his mannerisms and the tone of his voice echoed Bridges so that, while they may not look all that alike, you certainly feel they are connected by blood.

Thirteen's prediliction for vinyl reveals itself...

5) Why is it that I really don't care for Olivia Wilde in House, but when she shows up in some other outfit, like in that Funny or Die G.I. Joe video dressed as the Baroness and here, I find her thoroughly smoking hot?

6) Michael Sheen--he's the guy with the cane prancing around in the trailers--must really, really like David Bowie. Just saying.

7) The Daft Punk soundtrack works here, primarily because it feels so alien when we enter the world of The Grid.

"Is there life on Maaaaaars?"

8) I really liked how the bulk of the real world scenes were in 2D, to give way to the 3D world of The Grid once Sam is integrated. I just wish they'd committed fully to that idea and not thrown us a couple of sequences in the real world designed solely so we can be wowed by the 3D process.

9) It's interesting how, even though there's an updating to the look and feel of The Grid, the CGI doesn't stray too far from the originals--to the point where, when we see an original lightcycle in Jeff Bridges' dwelling, it doesn't look as much of a relic as it might have.

10) Didn't somebody point out how much Bridges looks like Obi-Wan Kenobi when he's rocking that robe with the light interior?

In short...I don't know how much people who didn't see the original all those years ago will make of this sequel--but for me, who loved the original, this is a very worthy follow-up, and very worth the wait. Hell, the wait might have been needed, given how it takes full advantage of modern CGI.

I was back at the Atlas--I was too busy to make the trip into the city for the lesser priced AMC show. I was a bit annoyed that they've now added a Firstlook 3D to tack on after the original Firstlook for films like this. Trailers included Green Lantern, which still looks pretty blah on the big screen, Green Hornet yet again, and Mars Needs Moms, which featured more of that super-creepy motion capture stuff Robert Zemeckis pioneered that makes me feel very, very cold.