Ten Statements About....MOONRAKER (1979)

"I feel like I should apologize for your name, Holly..."

“At least I shall have the pleasure of putting you out of my misery. Desolate, Mr. Bond?”
“Heartbroken Mr. Drax."

1) You know, Bond films have recycled plots in the past--but never have they done the same exact film twice in a row.

2) While I understand Michael Lonsdale’s choice in underplaying Hugo Drax as a counterpoint to the more vigorous Curt Jergens’ Stromborg, his subtle performance tends to contribute to the film’s lackadasial pace.  Which is kind of a pity, because he has some very good lines that aren’t given the impact they could have had.

3) It’s dismaying to see Richard Keil’s Jaws--who is treated as a serious threat throughout The Spy Who Loved Me--being frequently treated as a goof in this film.  From his first appearance falling through a circus big top to the running gag of his romance with a tiny pigtailed blonde, Jaws’ fearsomeness is blunted.  And his face turn is...kinda sketchy.  In short, it’s a disappointing treatment for the only henchman to appear twice in the series.

"For the last time, I'm not asleep!
I'm being subtle!"

4) In retrospective, Lois Chiles is very good as Dr. Holly Goodhead.  There is a certain charm to her straightforwardness and she does have a pretty good chemistry with Moore.  Plus she is able to handle some of the expositional heavy lifting a scientist character should.  I have to assume her lack of favor in the realm of Bond girls has to come from appearing in this movie...and having the single most embarrassing name in the series history.

5) Here is where the comedy goes out of control in the Moore era.  Not only do we get Moore’s overobvious punning, we get endless sight gags, double takes (especially during that awful gondola chase) and goofy musical cues that ape Close Encounters, The Magnificent Seven and 2001.  Every time one of these comic moments happen, the film stops so we can appreciate the humor...except for the fact they all fall with a thud.

6) Even for an unrealistic spy series like this, the presence of laser gun wielding Space Marines propelling themselves on their own power through space to invade Drax’s spaceborn HQ officially breaks the suspension of disbelief.

7) One of the reasons I think this film ultimately fails as a Bond film is how, once Bond arrives in Rio the pace slows to an absolute crawl until the end.  Even the climax is kept from moving forward thanks to the endless model shots of Drax’s space station.  And speaking of these model shots....

8) It is obvious that this is a film that wants to be science fiction shot by a crew that doesn’t understand how to shoot science fiction.  The space element actually interferes with the natural flow and feel of a Bond film, and makes the film seem less than what it could be.

"So what was that you were saying about me being a big
goof before?"

9)  This is probably the last Bond film to feature great stylized sets.  As bad as the space elements are, the actual space station set is excellent--and it pales next to the absolutely gorgeous headquarters hidden in a Mayan temple.  It’s no surprise that this is Ken Adams’ last Bond film.

10) I have always contended that any Moore Bond film that ventures into California suffers....and while this one’s Drax Estate sequence does have its charm, the other fiddly bits around the edges help sink this movie.

Overall...a terrible, terrible film that is representative of the bottom of the barrel of the franchise--although, as we’ll find out, it actually isn’t as bad as From A View To A Kill and Die Another Day.

Ten Statements About....VERONICA MARS SEASON TWO, EPISODE SIX 'Rat Saw God' (2005)

No one expected the return of Abel Koontz...but maybe
they expected how dark his story becomes.

"Wow. Where did you learn that interrogation technique?"
“"Harvard. Pretty convincing hysterical routine you got. Where'd you learn that?"
“Watching cheerleading tryouts results."

1) It seems like every season after the first, where everything was new and bright and Rob Thomas was setting up the ground rules for the VM Universe, there is always one or more episodes devoted to tying up loose ends from the previous season.  This is that episode from this season, as writer John Enbom and Phil Klemmer address the fate of Christian Clemenson’s Abel Koontz and his daughter.  As such, it’s a very, very dark episode.

2) You wanna know why I hated Clemenson’s recurring character in Boston Legal?  Just watch his performance here as the dying Koontz.  Clemenson only has two scenes, but those scenes run the gambit from compassion to despair to happiness as he is seeking out the fate of his daughter.

3) This is the first episode without Percy Daggs’ participation, as Wallace is off in Chicago following his own subplot.  And even beyond Veronica’s pointing it out, it’s very obvious that Daggs’ presence is missed.  Without Wallace (or for that matter, his mom) to provide a little light in the dark, dim world of Veronica, the world becomes oppresively noir.

Go away, BUFFY creator!  Stop stinking up my show!

4) This is, of course, the Joss Whedon cameo episode and, as much as the Kevin Smith cameo sucked ass, it paled to Whedon’s broad caricature of The Mean Boss to America’s Top Model’s Kim Stoltz.  The less said about him, the better.

5) Oddly enough, the most intriguing aspect of this episode is the presence of Christopher B. Duncan’s Clarence Weidman, and the strange respect that Thomas seems to be growing between him and Veronica.  Do they like each other?  No.  But as their respective investigations into Amelia Delongpre’s fate dovetail, they see something in each other that makes them reliable allies.

6) The surprising return of Harry Hamlin’s Aaron Echols results in two rather strong scenes.  What strikes me, and continues to strike me, about Hamlin’s performance is his absolute conviction that he is A Good Man Who Has Done Nothing Wrong.  Even as he tries to convince Logan that Duncan was the true killer, Hamlin doesn’t seem to understand how monstrous he’s become.  And speaking of those two scenes....

This is the last tender moment these two will have this episode.

7) Those of us, like me, who prefer our Enrico Colantoni hardcore will love his role in this episode.  Don’t be fooled by his more or less lighthearted moments at the top of the hour; once we get deep into the episode, Colantoni’s Keith Mars is all business, culminating in a downright bad ass scene where you expect Keith to be after one thing, only for us to realize what he’s really after and why Aaron should be very worried.  I’ve always said Colantoni is a major player in why I love this show, and this episode is further proof as to why.

8) I’ll call it--even for a show like this, the ending of this done-in-one, where we learn Amelia’s fate and how Veronica chooses to handle telling Abel as he’s literally dying is one of the grimmest ever.  It’s made especially grim by how, by the nature of the mystery, so much of the interaction happens off-screen.  Only when Veronica is face-to-hand with Amelia’s ultimate fate does anything happen immediately.

9) I never was quite comfortable with Ryan Hansen’s promotion to series regular, and this episode makes the argument for me.  The scenes of Dick Casablancas uilizing his father’s outlawdom to get into (a very green, acting-wise) Krysten Ritter’s Gia, or giving Logan the tacit approval to bang his stepmom just feels....weird.

(and if you think his behavior is strange now, wait until we get to next season....)

10) Look, I know that this single episode gets so dark that everyone felt that some serious comic relief was needed--but those scenes with Tracy Walter’s Motel Manager are not only unfunny but They.  Keep.  Coming.  Back.  To. Him.  I would accept an entire mystery built around Joss Whedon’s rent-a-car manager before I watch one more second of that toothless stereotype of a motel guy.

Overall...a truly grim little episode that actually gives some relief to the overarc by having the done-in-one story darker and nastier than it is.  Recommended, but be prepared; saying relief is sparse is being kind.