Ten Statements About....THE AVENGERS (2012)

"You gotta strut, pout, put it out/that's what you want from..."

"The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves, sort of like a team. 'Earth's Mighiest Heroes' type thing."
"Yes, I've met them."
"Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them."

1) I owe Joss Whedon an apology, as in this film he manages to prove he is able to do big-ass on-screen action and super-heroics...and manages to find new and engaging ways to do said big-ass on-screen action (although there is a moment which makes me wonder if he was aware of the criticism some people leveled at him, myself included, and decided to spoof it).

2) Mark Ruffalo's take on Bruce Banner is rather interesting. There's a strange sense of humor running under his take, a kind of bemused sarcasm that plays off of Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark really well. And while I still don't buy the reasoning Banner gives for controlling his Hulk-Outs in the third act, I can see how Ruffalo made those choices to bolster that contention.

3) At first, I really thought Clark Gregg's beloved Agent Coulson was acting out of character when he went all fanboy in the presence of Chris Evans' Captain America...but then I realized that what Whedon was doing was showing how Coulson's admiration for Cap is what spurred him on to become the super-cool secret agent we've grown to like in the previous four films, that Cap's selflessness became a template for Coulson's sense of duty and honor, and spurs on his actions later in the film.

4) One of the things I really, really appreciated was how we had our heroes actively using their powers to save people at time rather than just beating things up. Iron Man trying to jumpstart the helicarrier, Cap making the save in the bank....these moments gave us a sense of these characters being heroes and not just gaily-dressed guys beating up armored lizard guys.

"Goodness...is that...our profits?"

5) So first Scarlett Johanssen, now Cobie Smolders...is it the agenda of these movies to get every woman I think is hot squeezed into a formfitting SHIELD uniform? Can I look forward to Kristen Bell playing Daisy Johnson? Maybe McPhee as Victoria Head?

6) I was also appreciative that the only real member of the Joss Whedon Day Players was Alex Denisoff's Other (unless you count Chris Hemmworth, who got Thor thanks to Cabin In The Woods)--and he was buried under make-up. But then, this is perhaps the least Whedon-feeling of Whedon's productions, even though there are large elements that are Whedon-esque.

7) While Tom Hiddleston's Loki acts a great deal more like an actual super-villain, he's still excellent in the role. He successfully gives us a proper face to the Big Shouty Alien Bug Invasion, and both puts forth his agenda ('It's easier to give up freedom, isn't it?') with a degree of rational thought and revels in his mischief.

"So you really think I'll be sticking around as Banner?"

8) While I recognize that the 'meet-and-fight' sequence that pulls the curtain down on Act One is there to give us a legitimate action beat while also giving fanboys a bit of a thrill...I wonder if it was actually necessary. It's not like Fury wouldn't have briefed everyone on each other, or that they'd be aware of each other's abilities. Yeah, it's a satisfying dust-up, but it could easily, easily have been sidestepped with a few lines of dialogue...

No, wait...this isn't supposed to be a Brian Michael Bendis comic.

Wow....that's....ummm, kinda tight, innit,
Cobie?"

9) I also recognize that someone had to get the short end of the stick, and I'm not surprised that it's mostly Those New Kids--Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye (who comes off as pretty much a cipher) and Smolder's Maria Hill. However, I am impressed that the script gives us a sense of both characters in the main action that we don't feel too left out. Hell, in the case of Hawkeye, what we learn made me actively interested in seeing this talked-about Hawkeye and Black Widow movie if said movie was a prequel that revealed the story they referenced a couple of time.

10) That last act could have been a massive mess of shaky-cam confusion...but I love how Whedon came up with lots of innovative action set pieces (the way Cap and Iron Man worked together utilizing the shield to focus and direct the repulsor blasts) and moments of genuine characterization that kept the film's momentum engaging. It's absolutely fitting that the last moment in the film includes a testimony from a seeming bystander making reference to Cap saving her during that last act.

Overall...about as great as a super-hero movie could be while still being unapologetically a super hero movie, this is the greatest movie little twelve year old Tom could have imagined when he was reading those old Shooter/Perez issues....and is a great two hours and change for adult Tom to experience. Here's hoping the next one is half as fun.

Ten Statements About....CABIN THE THE WOODS (2012)

"Hello?  Spam delivery here!"

"They're zombified, pain-worshipping, backwoods idiots."
"But they're our zombified, pain-worshipping, backwoods idiots."

1) Hope you like monsters!

No, seriously...you'll have to stick around for a bit, but if you're patient, this film becomes Crazy Monster Heaven.

2) I'm beginning to wonder if Joss Whedon, who co-wrote and produced this film, is one of those so-called 'geniuses' like Douglas Adams who has a limited amount of ideas and just recycles them under different trade dresses throughout his career. There are elements in this film that are either direct lifts or minor alterations from such previous Whedon works as Buffy the Vampire Slayer (especially Season Four) and Dollhouse. This in no way interferes with my enjoyment of the show, but it's hard to ignore that this is a story that has a prosthetic limb or two of previous Whedon entries.

3) Similarly, it's hard to escape the presence of The Whedon Day Players in this flick. Hell, one of the main characters--a character that you could argue is the hero--is played by Fran Krantz, who was the mastermind behind The Dollhouse in Dollhouse, and is actually playing a character who is something of a variation on that one. The only Whedon Regulars who seems to be playing a character who's actually a character is Amy Acker's Chem Tech Lin.

4) Since this film was shot two years and change ago (its release was delayed due to original producer MGM's financial problems), it's kind of a shock to see Chris Hemsworth in a decidedly slimmer form....doubly so given he's playing The Jock in this Archetype parade.

Ladies and gentlemen....here are the real monsters of this
film.

5) Of course, one of the strengths of this film is how gleefully the film embraces our expectations and laughs at them, twisting and turning things until we literally don't know what's going to happen next--and that includes that last twist, where Whedon and director/co-writer Drew Goddard pull the trigger on something we literally assume they never will.

6) And another strength is that the script plays fair. Every shock and twist is set up--even the one that leads to Hemsworth's fate is set up so early in the film I actually forgot about what he's about to run into until it's too late. And credit to the two for working out a rationale for the whole scenario and why it plays out the way it does.

7) You know, I haven't mentioned Bradley Whitford's Hadley at all. This is the best performance of all, primarily because at the core Whitford is a white collar drone just doing his job, taking what little joy in a horrifying job where he can find it....which makes what was, for me, the single scariest moment in the film work.

8) Here's an example of shakey cam working for the film, and not against it--the reason for the switch to that style of shooting, that everything has suddenly been thrown into chaos by the actions of our heroes and so many things are happening at once, makes it acceptable. Of course, the fact that Goddard still manages to make the important developments (including a hilarious payoff to Hadley's story) very clear to us allows us to tolerate this choice toward shakiness even more.

If you ever wanted to know what it would look like for a cute
blonde to make out with a stuffed wolf head...here's your chance.

9) I also like how sometimes the script allows Hadley and his partner, Richard Jenkins' Sitterson, to stand in for us....like when they mock Tim deZarn's Mordecai, the Gatekeeper for the scenario.

10) Given the absolutely insane little glimpses we get of Japan's arm of this operation (prompting Hadley at one point to quip, "How difficult is it to kill nine-year olds?"), I almost regret not seeing more of the scenarios around the world. Hell, we've got something like eight different nations referred to....aren't they each worth a minute or two?

Overall...even with my Whedon-wariness, I love this fucked up, clever movie. This is a fun rollercoaster of a movie--and even if you may not be on board during the first half's stalk-n-slash satire, I guantee you that the last half hour will have you grinning like a ghoul. Easily one of the better horror films I've seen in the last few months, if not a year.

I went to the Loews Village 7 to see this. The trailers were a strange mix of comedy and horror films, including Looking For A Friend For The End of The World (which actually seems like it might be fun, although I kept wondering what is in the air this year that's prompting so many 'End of The World' films); Chernobyl Diaries (...dear Oren Peli...stop that found footage crap. Please...) and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter (another reason that my blood now runs cold every time I see Tim Burton's name on a trailer).

Ten Statements About....THOR (2011)

"I am The Hurdy Gurdy Man...and I bring songs of KICKING
YOUR ASS!!!'

"Describe exactly what happened to you last night."
"Your ancestors called it magic...but you call it science.  I come from a land where they are one and the same."

1) Here is why Chris Hemsworth was necessary to play the lead character in this film...he is able to accurately portray both the headstrong, hotheaded braggart and the more mature, capable man he becomes--and, more importantly, is able to transition between the two seamlessly so that Thor's character arc feels organic.

2) That being said--my favorite performance without a doubt is Tom Hiddleston's Loki. Hiddleston manages to create a very subtle God of Mischief, his voice so reasonable when he pushes those around him into doing what he wants. Plus, he manages to sell the very complex motivations behind this version of Loki extremely well.

3) While I recognize that this version of Asgard is the movieverse version and has to have a shade of 'The Realistic,' I generally approve of the design of the place. I also approve of how there are select characters--especially Josh Dallas' Fandral--who look like they were ripped right out of the comic.

4) There's a definitive sense that Kenneth Branaugh's Asgard is a Warrior Culture first and foremost. Hell, even Rene Russo's Frigga's first impulse upon seeing an approaching Frost Giant is to grab a sword and take a swing.

"It's the hammer, isn't it?  Chicks did the hammer..."

5) I do like Natalie Portman's Jane (as well as Kat Dennings' Darcy) a lot--this is the year of Portman having fun, apparantly--even though I wish they hadn't made her an astrophysicist. Yes, it makes keeping her and Stellan Skarsgaard's mentor character Eric around for The Avengers much easier, but it sort of breaks the whole contrast of Thor The Warrior with Jane The Caregiver the comics had.

6) That being said...I dunno, I think I prefer Jaimie Alexander's vital, game-for-whatever (and smoking hot) Sif to Jane, who comes off in this film as a touch neurotic and flighty at times.

I admit...I wanna party with these guys...

7) Those who compained about all the connective tissue in Iron Man 2 should be very pleased with the way it's handled here. It seems Branaugh learned from Favreau's mistakes, as the little throwaway lines about Stark and Banner work without stopping the film. And my favorite bit of connective tissue--the surprise appearance of Jeremy Renner's Hawkeye in a key cameo--was slipped in so logical and unobtrusively that it barely made a dent in the film's running time.

8) The product placement, however...YE GODS is it slathered all over this film. There's so many moments where the eye is drawn to Burger King cups or a 7-11 awning it made me actively not want to patronize any of the companies making the film its advertising bitch.

9) I continue to contend that Clark Gregg's Agent Coulson is the Coolest Character in the Marvel Movieverse. I'm amazed at how, after three films, Gregg has never once broken character, has always been scarily consistent and seems totally unfazed by all that goes on around him that I look forward to seeing him in every one of these films. And the way he doesn't get in Thor's face when the Asgardian does his 'look, I'm on your side, and I promise you I'll always be--just give my wubbie her stuff back', but just gets things done is wonderful.

10) I love how the Marvel Studios overarc between these films has trained the audience to stay put during the credits.....no one moved through all those tiny little lines, and were treated to a number of little gifts--not only the 'here's the stinger to set up the next movie with Sam Jackson', but the thanks to Walt Simonson, Louise Simonson, John Buscema and so many other great people who contributed to the Thor mythos and a James Bondian 'Thor Will Return' credit...

In short...this is another great Marvel film, which proves that the policy of 'find the right director, then get out of his way' continues to work extremely well.

I went back to the Atlas and used the last of the gift cards my mom gave me for Christmas...which means suffering through the Regal Firstlook. At least it featured the extended ComicCon trailer for Green Lantern, which actually got me a little excited by the film--as opposed to the awful, limp version that's still playing in theaters (I have to say--the ComicCon trailer gives me a much greater sense of what Blake Lively is bringing to the table as Carol Ferris, and I really see why she was cast now). Other trailers included a kick-ass one for Captain America: The First Avenger, one for the next Luc Besson produced cheapo action thrill ride, the Pierre Morrel-less Columbiana (It looks awfully promising, even if it seems to want to continue the trend of forcing Zoe Saldana down our throats), and--my favorite of the lot--the looks-to-be-too-insane-to-be-true return of Tarsem to genre filmmaking, the 300-meets-Clash-of-the-Titans mash up Immortals...which can't come out too soon for my tastes.