Ten Statements About....DOCTOR WHO STORY ONE HUNDRED AND TEN: THE LEISURE HIVE (1980)

...and after getting super-old, the Doctor will
try to convince people he's an elk...

1) This is the first serial produced by John Nathan-Turner, who will guide the series until the classic version of the show is put on permanent hiatus in 1990....and boy, does he do whatever he can to differentiate it from the Graham Williams episodes.  The new starfield credits, the new music score, the use of 1980's-style  (i.e. clunky and primitive) CGI, the darker outfit for the Doctor...everything amounts to Nathan-Turner shouting 'We t'ain't your father's Who!'.  And to be fair, the new look does serve to convince us that we've come out of the children's pantomine that the Williams/Adams season had become.

2) ...which isn't to say that the show is without flaws.  The serial is so in love with its new CGI-based optical effects department that it devotes big ol' sequences that go on forever to moments that show off their prowess.  One shot of a starcraft docking is shown in its entirety roughly four times, and another shot of a model of the titular building on a CGI generated background (complete with too-bright sun beating down) seems to be repeated every time director Lovett Bickford runs out of ideas.  And this--along with other moments where Bickford indulges in arty shots like the 360 degree pan of Brighton Beach--slows the pacing of the serial down tremendously.

3) I also wonder if the serial wouldn't have benefited from David Haig not chewing his scenery so vigorously as Pangol.  Haig is so sneerily over the top that there's no doubt that he's the villain, and that distracts from the Mafia-manque story that the serial is supposed to be about...and given how Pangol's story arc results in a particularly bad CGI sequence that goes on for so long we can lovingly appreciate the level of crapitude, maybe it's better his story was minimized a bit.

"Look!  CGI!  It's DA FUUUUTUUUURE!"

4) Pangol's craziness also detract from the whole backstory of the Argolins.  There are these weird hints at what they're all about and their biology--apparently they're plant beings (it's never explicitly stated) whose age is measured by the number of berries or seed-pods on the top of their head.  There's a number of interesting things about Argolin society that is sorta kicked aside for Pangol making nasty references to Greeks, ranting around and overall trying to be Better Than You.

5) I can almost buy the Fomasi.  In tight close up they can actually be a bit unnerving.  Even when I see them in full figure and notice the big cinch-sack like collar, I can suspend disbelief juuuust enough to let the serial flow on.  But I cannot buy the way the villainous Fomasi hide from detection for the bulk of the story....they simply cannot slip into those disguises so easily given their generous form.

6) Here's something that made all of us who weathered the panto silliness of the Graham Williams era happy....this story is based on the admittedly fictitious science of 'tacyonics,' but it's a fictitious science that is both plausible and based on a bit of science fact.  Throughout this first season and part of the next, we're going to see some pretty hardcore science fiction concepts--this season ends with a truly amazing story that's tied in to some pretty heady ideas about psychics and mathematics--and it's really refreshing after what we just endured.

"Raahr!  I's a fluffy monsta!"

7) I'm not quite sure, but there's some weird elements in the serial that seems to have been left on the floor.  There's these frequent hints that there's some form of mutual attraction between Adrienne Courri's Mena and Nigel Lambert's Hardin, yet outside of some quotes, there's nothing concrete we can hang this supposition on.  There's the whole concept of the Fomasi criminal underground.  Plus there are other things that are mentioned, allowed to take its bowed, and never brought up again.  It's kind of frustrating.

8)  Thank God that Lalla Ward is wearing something distinct and flattering to her in that Edwardian bathing outfit with the big ol' hat.  But then, the costuming overall is very clever in a minimalist way, allowing us to get a sense of each character with only the way a garment falls on them.

9) I rather liked the way the story sees the Doctor transformed (something we'll see again in the very next serial).  It shows one of the strengths of the early phase of The Nathan-Turner Years--namely, these serials for the first season and change look for ways to actively challenged and hinder the Doctor.  Seeing this doctor struggle with age and his failing brain cells, seeing him express frustration at being slower intellectually is something the viewer hasn't seen before.  We'll see this a lot in these early Nathan-Turner tales until the arrival of Script Editor Eric Seward screws it all up.

10) You'll notice how the serial quickly, and pretty much gleefully, disposes of K-9 and the Randomizer within the story.  This could be looked upon as Nathan-Turner rushing to convince us that This Is Not Your Father's Who....or if could be the very first indications of Nathan-Turner's pettiness, which we'll see in abundance once he and Seward are a team.

Overall...even with its wonky pacing and weak storytelling choices, this is a decent serial that provides something of a 'mission statement' for this first leg of John Nathan-Turner's era--an era that will sour fairly soon, but right now is bright with promise.

Ten Statements About....DOCTOR WHO STORY SIXTY-FIVE: THE THREE DOCTORS (1973)

"Of course I am a villian--I have a shouty voice
and a special mask...you know, like Dr. Doom!"

"Jo, it's all quite simple. I am he, and he is me--"
"And we are all together, goo goo gajoob?"

1) Let's be honest--the plot here has a potential for being thoroughly incidental since the main reason for this story to exist (written to commemorate the series' tenth anniversary) is to have all three Doctors hanging out together. And judged on that parameter, it is pretty cool, especially in the way writers Bob Baker and Dave Martin manage to capture the essence of each Doctor and rightly figure out how each incarnation would feel about each other.

2) And that's fortunate, because....well, this plot is kinda crap. It's very much of the five pounds of story in a ten pound sack mode, and lots of it is taken up with water treading and corridor walking and other time wasters.

3) And a big portion of those time wasters? The mass of characters wandering around when The Doctors get to Omega's World. Baker and Martin seemed compelled to give equal time to Jo and The Brig and Benton and The Professor and That Game Warden Who's There Only So We Can Have A Punchline At The End Of Episode Four. The whole story gets congested and slows due to the overstuffed cast, and I think it would have benefited from a smaller group (even if there are admittedly good character bits individually).

4) At this point, the Brigadier is a shadow of his former self--but damn if I didn't get a charge out of his chewing out Sargent Benton and Jo, reminding them that they are still members of UNIT. It still gives one hope he won't become a straight man for the Doctor later down the line....

They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight....

5) What fascinates me the most is how The Doctors interact with each other. The Troughton Doctor seems horrified that he becomes the cynical, arrogant Pertwee Doctor, while Pertwee treats Troughton with contempt...but both seem to have extreme reverence for The Hartnell Doctor, a reverence I'd almost categorize as familial. It's almost as if the other incarnations recognize Hartnell as their father.

6) And speaking of Hartnell, given how badly he's succumbed to dementia at the time of this airing, it's really impressive how well he comes off. Those small scenes are vital and alive, and you almost don't notice the way Hartnell is scanning the background for his lines. I only wish he got to actually interact in the flesh with the other two.

7) I know there are some people who think Stephen Thorne's Omega is a bit over-the-top, and frequently you can see some pieces of scenery in his (lack of) teeth....but there's that one moment when he realizes what has happened to him and lets loose with this seemingly endless keening cry. That moment almost makes his Brian Blesseding worth it.

8) Okay, let me get this straight--due to a combination of your own willpower and access to a black hole, you've been able to construct an entire world from force of mind...and yet when you have to create these minions, you come up with barrel-shaped, one eyed, one clawed things that look like a mess of partially digested cherry jelly beans? Shame on you, Omega. Shame on you.

"Ere!  You!  We want to talk to you about how a future
incarnation of you is eating up all our brother jelly babies!"

9) The thing that galls me about the Designated Rural Comic Relief for this story is not that it exists--it's a Terrence Dicks supervised script, so there has to be some stoic rural stereotype--but that said Designated Rural Comic Relief permeates the story so much. This character is constantly around, at one point prominently in the background while The Brig and Sargent Benton has a conversation. And the fact that he's there only to set up a final comedy sting makes me roll my eyes.

10) I think this is maybe the second time we've seen Gallifrey, and I like how even though it's still not there yet, most of what we now accept as being Gallifrey--the robes, the frontpieces, etc. are in place already. This is still an embryonic form of the Doctor's people, but I appreciate that we're getting there.

Overall...not a very good show, this story still is watchable thanks primarily to the great interaction between the three doctors of the title.

Ten Statements About....BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE (1959)

"Raaaah...I'm a Monsta!  No, really..."

1) You know what would make this somewhat dull, extremely dopey heist flick even more exciting? Some crazy insect-thingie in an abandoned mine in South Dakota webbing up the cast members and....well, ummm, apparently licking them with its overlong tongue,

2) Remember when every heist film had to have some lame comedy relief character among its number, like maybe the guy in the improbably loud alpine hat who keeps adjusting its brim in this film?

Yeah, I hated those characters, too....

3) Richard Sinatra? Frank Stallone and Joe Estevez are already waiting for you.

4) Monte Hellman directed this. Yes, Two Lane Blacktop Monte Hellman.

I'm as surprised as you are.

5) The South Dakota setting does add a little novelty to the story, even if the story is so dull and badly paced that it's positively sophorific.

6) Frank Wolff has either the strangest dye-job ever or is wearing a strange wig. It's rather surprising that Wolff actively carved out a really formidable career in Spaghetti westerns ten years later given his scenery-chewing performance.

In 1959...this could be considered racy

7) It's obvious Shiela Noonan (billed as Shiela Carol) was chosen not for any talent, but for her looks (she resembles Carol Lynley, oddly enough); this is one of only three credits she has on imdb. The sad thing is she has what is arguably the most complex character, yet is thoroughly incapable of carrying off said complexity.

8) Given what happens and the extent to which the criminals go to, stealing a few gold bars seems like a particularly petty heist.

9) What is the purpose of hero Gil Jackson's sister outside of that one scene where Richard Sinatra macks on her at the beginning.



This is not how I pictured Monte Hellman making
his first appearance on this blog.



10) That monster...man, that monster is goofy looking.

Overall...a very below average mish-mosh of stuff which is notable mostly for who directed it.

This was one of the five films in a public domain collection of Roger Corman Drive-In Classic. I must say that I loved the title menu, which featured an actual Drive-In movie theater featurette playing on a mock-drive-in screen.