Ten Statements--No, Wait, Eleven!--About....THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 (2014)

"I know you've got a meeting with Batman Forever's
Edward Nigma for nutball pointers, so I'll let you go."

“You want me to come down there so you can kill me?"
“Yeah!"
“OK, I'll be right there."

1) Once again, this film succeeds on the absolutely effortless chemistry between Andrew Garfield’s Peter and Emma Stone’s Gwen.  Even when the two are breaking up, there’s a connection between them that is palatable and spurs on Peter’s story arc.  It’s an element that was lacking between Toby McGuire and Kristen Dunst.

2) My God, what is it about this version of Spider-Man where literally everything that ever happens anywhere in New York is connected to Oscorp.  By the time we see the scheming that makes Paul Giamatti the Rhino, the whole Oscorp angle becomes ridiculous.

3) While I have no problems with his Green Goblin, which is different but just as valid as Willem DaFoe’s version (only without the stupid helment), Dane DeHaan’s Harry Osborn is oddly off-putting.  Not only does he have this bizarrely emocore haircut, DeHaan doesn’t have nearly the chemistry with Garfield he needs to have to make his story arc credible.  Their status as best friends doesn’t come off well, doubly so when Harry’s back story in the context of this film is presented.

"So, ummm....which of us has the goofier hair, Pete?"

4) I have to wonder if Jamie Foxx’s Max Dillon got together with Jim Carrey’s Edward Nigma to have coffee once a week, because Max is a broad caricature at best.  There’s always a sense of Foxx winking at the audience and playing at being a character as opposed to being a character.  Once he goes all Dr. Manhattan-y as Electro on everyone, he becomes better, but that first act is winceworthy.

5) To my pleasant surprise, director Mark Webb does manage to effectively juggle the three villains who appear in the film--The Rhino by using his story as bookends for the main story, and the Green Goblin by making the origin stretch out across the movie so his ultimate appearance doesn’t happen until the end, giving Electro the chance to, ahem, shine as the main baddie.  That being said....

6) One of my biggest problem with the film’s villains is that two of them have as their motivation a hatred of Spider-Man, and the other’s motivation is spurred on by his worship of Spidey.  These motivations truly are at odds with the grandness of the schemes of these bad guys save for The Goblin.

7) You know, I appreciate that Sony wants to put little easter eggs throughout the film--partially as fan service, and partially as seeds for future characters--but some of these easter eggs make no sense, being transformed so much by the film that there’s no reason for them to be here.  In particular B.J. Novak’s Alistair Smythe and Felicity Jones’ Felicia Hardy are so far away from the basic concepts of those characters that there’s no reason for them to be those characters.  And let’s not get into the fact that Dr. Ashley Kafka gets a facacta sex change and a ridiculous German-ish accent as portrayed by Marton Csokas.

Somehow, Spider-Man's stand-in
seemed a little...off.

8) I surely appreciate Mark Webb’s decision to continue the mini-theme of how Spider-Man’s empathy with people may be his biggest strength.  It’s his empathy with Max that gives the man hope and almost defuses the situation when he becomes Electro.  And a moment with a young kid makes for a nice, albeit tense at times, undercurrent and mirror for Peter’s own story arc.

9) The ending to this film has a weird feel to it.  It’s too long, for one, and seems to move well beyond the natural end point for the film.  The thing almost feels like a mini-movie on its own, and prolly should have been better handled.

10) You know, the first film promised ‘the secret story behind the hero’....and yes, the film does do some minor advances to this backstory, but it’s mainly a flashback, some hints that Peter was destined to be Spider-Man and him finding a secret lab under a subway tunnel.  There’s a definite ‘Get To The Fuckin’ Monkey’ vibe beginning to come from this series both with this subplot and the one involving ‘The Man In The Hat’ (that should be called ‘Dr. Spinoff’ given what he’s planning).

11) What the Hell was that totally unconnected scene from X-Men: Days Of Future Past doing in the end credits? Other than, of course, seeing Jennifer Laurence all blue’d up again...

Overall...still a valid and entertaining film in its own right that manages the deficits well enough that they don’t damage the film proper.

Ten Statements About....THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN (2012)

Unlike in previous films, this relationship works....

"Your boyfriend is a man of many masks.  I get that."

1) I don't mind Andrew Garfield as the new Spidey; I think he gets the gawkiness of the character down cold, especially in the scenes where he interacts with Emma Stone's Gwen Stacy. The only real problem, although not a fatal one, is that the film is working so hard to distance their Peter from Tobey Maguire's Peter that he comes off as too cool. We never quite buy him as the put-upon nerd who needs Spider-Man to escape into.

2) Denis Leary rocks the house every time he walks onscreen as Captain Stacy....and one of the strengths of his performance is how the script takes advantage of Leary's onstage persona to define him, while allowing Leary himself to infuse the character with a degree of intelligence and respect. My only regret is that the script chose to saddle him with the role usually assigned to J. Jonah Jameson, which robs him of what made him compelling in the comics--namely, that he was smart enough to figure out that Peter and Spidey were one and the same long before Peter suspected.

"Raaaahr!  I's a monsta!"

3) Okay, I like that this film chose to take a page out of the Raimi films in casting character actor Rhys Ifan as The Lizard. And I acknowledge that many of the elements in his story arc are elements taken directly from comic stories regarding the Lizard. However, this script cannot seem to decide whether Curt Conners starts out his story arc as a corrupted individual or if his intentions are pure, albeit twisted by the influence of the Reptile serum. The story and his motivations tend to be muddled with every plot point that is introduced about the character, which robs the film of a proper narrative flow. That being said....

4) The collapsing of The Lizard's origin into Spidey's works a Hell of a lot better than the tinkering that connected The Green Goblin to Spidey in the Raimi film. Overall, the changes to the origin as a whole make the film tighter and more logical in its pace. Even the way the script chooses to dispense with the wrestling angle while still making wrestling a part of Peter's inspiration streamlines and strengthens this section of the character's arc.

5) This film has no sense of New York geography whatsoever. This is the kind of topsy-turvy world where apparently Forest Hills is recognizably Brooklyn (Peter even takes the Q train home, a line that never stops in Queens). Hell, the flick so fetishizes the Oscorp Tower that no other place seems to exist in its world....

6) ....and while we're on the subject, I call for a ban on action scenes on New York bridges in super-hero movies. As good as the scene is where Peter has to save a boy from a car suspended from the 'Williamsburg Bridge' (obviously the Queensborough Bridge, incidentally), the stuff that happens before and after is dull and uninteresting. It's become a trope that desperately needs to be retired.

Of course, after seeing what Chris Nolan is planning to do to our spans in the trailer for The Dark Knight Rises, I see this is a futile effort.

7) That being said, I like how Spidey's saving of the boy Jack pays off during the climax, with Jack's Father (played by C. Thomas Howell) actually using his position to help him get to Oscorp Towers. This little subplot makes the same point that those scenes of New Yorkers sticking up for Spidey in the Raimi films did, but in a way that keeps the narrative flow moving rather than pausing it.

8) It's obvious that Columbia has seen the success Marvel Studios has had with the creation of its movie-verse and wants to make one of its own....but it's doing so clumsily. The rather hamfisted mentions of Norman Osborn throughout practically scream out 'this is for another film! Green Goblin here!', and the post-credit scene is horribly mangled. You know, if you want us comic geeks to recognize the presence of a new character, it might be a good idea to actually give us something of a clear shot of him!

While Andrew Garfield and Sally Fields are in the scene,
Martin Sheen has flashbacks to trying to raise Charlie....

9) The interesting thing about the use of Martin Sheen and Sally Fields as Uncle Ben and Aunt May is how the film once more goes out of its way to try and make them nothing like the Raimi versions of these characters--and yet here it works. You get a definite sense of what these two people were like in the past, and how their strength and sensitivity manages to inform and support the person Peter is. I certainly get the impression that the stories we'll be getting with Fields will be the kind of thing we couldn't get with Rosemary Harris....although I could have done with a little more subtlety as to their hinting at May knowing Peter is Spider-Man.

10) I get that Peter feels responsible for Conners' transformation into The Lizard....however, I do find it peculiar that the first half has Peter searching for the robber who killed Uncle Ben pretty incessantly, only for that whole aspect of his character drop once the actual super-villian-y aspect of the film kicks in. One of the primary things Peter learns in catching the robber is that revenge is not a proper motivation...and this iteration of Peter never learns it. It's a strange, strange thing to have disappear during the narrative.

Overall...even though it spends far too much time establishing that it's decidedly not the Raimi films and is confused about what it ultimately wants to accomplish, it's okay for what it is, thanks primarily to strong central performances.

Went to The Atlas again. Since I hadn't been at the theaters for a while, most of the trailers were new to me save for the one for The Dark Knight Rises, which continues to fill me with ennui. Oddly enough, the one that got me the most excited was the one for Pitch Perfect, a comedy about the collegiate acapella scene. And I will not mention the Firstlook speil about Elementary that only served to make me mad with every mention everyone in the cast makes about how this idea of a modern day Sherlock Holmes has never been done before...

Fuck you, CBS.