Monday, April 11, 2011

Ten Statements About....THE FINAL DESTINATION (2009)

1) No Tony Todd or Kristen Cloke in a Final Destination film=a very disappointed Tom

2) As someone who remembers the old-school red/blue 3D process, the Real 3D process was a big improvement...although, quite frankly, it seems to have problems whenever the director decides to pull the background into soft focus.

3) The title sequence, which recreates some of the best kills of the previous three films as x-ray cross sections, was admittedly pretty cool.

4) that homeless dude with the chihuahua supposed to be Death? Because I'm not buying it.

5) The thing that made Final Destination--the first one--work was that the script by my faves Glen Morgan and James Wong took the time to fashion real characters as the protaganists, characters who did not easily fall into stock stereotypes. Apparently writer Eric Bress and director David R. Ellis didn't figure that one out.

6) It bothers me that Bress and Ellis went for the simple shock/twist ending instead of going for the more subtle, but much creepier implications of the climatic set piece involving, I kid you not, scenes from The Long Kiss Goodnight

7) We know that the whole 'near-death experience is followed by a shock cut real death' is a hallmark of the series right now--but did you have to do it twice?

8) The people who live in the world of the Final Destination series must be composed of the most shoddy building materials ever and feature the worst Quality Control and Environmental Safety people ever.

9) Thanks to my best friend Derrick Ferguson, I can no longer watch the 'death stalking' set pieces without hearing the Chuck Jones/Looney Tunes 'Dadada-dadadadada' music in the back of my head.

10) Shantel VanSanten may be of the CW School of Acting--literally, since she is one of the stars of One Tree Hill--but as the...well, I'm not sure what she is of Bobby Campo's Nick (she's living with him, but she mentions she's still in school in the first scene), but she certainly looks good in panties and a t-shirt...and that's the closest thing we get to nudity in this flick.'s not the worst of the FD flicks--that one goes to Final Destination 2--but it's not exactly, well, good or anything. I'd say wait for it on DVD, but since there's a chance they'll release it in the old red/blue make the call.

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