Ten Statements About....FRENCH CONNECTION II (1975)

This fate is worse than any execution you can imagine.

"I’ve been a New York City cop for 14 years.  I know the dope that comes out of this city has killed a lot more than I have."

1) Gene Hackman could never be a movie star, let alone an action star, today.  Never mind that he submerges himself in Popeye Doyle completely and never allows his real actor-ly persona to break through, Hollywood would have no use for him.

The same goes for John Frankenheimer and his direction.

2) Only in 70‘s do you get a fight scene that is not smooth and full of shakey cam, but ungainly, awkward and exhausting.

3) I’m still puzzled by the whole point of Ed Lauter’s general.  Yeah, I guess it’s Frankenheimer’s way of

"Nyah, I have no idea what I'm doing here, either."

hinting that the American government has a hand in Charnier’s operation, but that character could be removed whole and not affect the film in any way.  It’s a weird bit that is never followed up.

4) It’s typical of 70‘s cinema in general and Frankenheimer specifically that Charnier’s discovery of Doyle’s presence is purely by accident.  And his seeing Doyle watching a volley ball match leads us into the film’s biggest and most harrowing set piece.

5) I do appreciate the fact that while Doyle and Bernard Fresson’s Barthélémy gain respect for each other after the French cop forcibly detoxes Doyle, there’s a sense they still don’t like each other--witness how Doyle continues to call Barthélémy ‘asshole’ long after the man literally saves his life.

6) Reason Editing Can Do Amazing Things #684: It’s obvious by the establishing long shot of the drydock in one of the major action sequences that it has only two gates...and yet, through judicious use of different angles and a number of tin plates with different numbers on them, Frankenheimer is able to make it seem like the place is ringed with gates, and Doyle and Barthélémy are going to drown in minutes if they stay within.

Yep...nothing says maverick cop like a Hawaiian shirt...

7) I appreciate, especially in this day and age where every single film is afraid of making people think they don’t understand what’s going on, how Frankenheimer refuses to give the French people Doyle encounters subtitles.  This emphasizes Doyle’s feeling of being a fish out of water (a concept brought home in the film’s early scenes by Doyle finding an April Fool’s Fish taped to his taxi) in a foreign land.

8) I get that the cable car chase is a parallel to the subway chase in the original; it just doesn’t feel as frenetic, and appears to be there for no reason other than to remind us how good the first one was.

9)  Cathleen Nesbitt’s brief role, named ‘The Old Lady’ in the credits, shows Frankenheimer’s way with actors.  At first introduced as a harmless woman who witnesses what Charnier is doing to Doyle, we see her true nature when she appears to comfort him...and we realize she’s a junkie looking to steal Doyle’s watch.

10) It’s a telling fact that Charnier’s evil revenge on Doyle would have gone on forever if Barthélémy’s attempts to find the cop resulted in too much attention being drawn to the drug operation.

Overall...an excellent film that is as good as the original, this shows how Frankenheimer’s talent can make a sequel work as something other than a money grab.

Ten Statements About....THE REPLACEMENTS (2000)

"And when I grow up, I's gon' be a football player!"

"Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever."

1) Keanu Reeves, quarterback. Yep. That's like me making a football movie now and casting Justin Beiber.

2) But then, I shouldn't be surprised, as this is one of those films where there are two or three 'characters' and a whole slew of types. This movie is technically all about Reeves' Shane Falco and Gene Hackman's Jimmy McGinty. Everyone else in the film, from the cheerleader romantic interest to the team owner right on down to the kicker is a broad stereotype given only the lightest strokes to convince us they're flesh and blood and not artifice and laziness.

3) The one who makes the best of his underwritten role is Orlando Jones' Clifford Franklin--but that's mainly because Jones is able to infuse the caricature he's given (He's a starstruck wide receiver--and he can't catch! Hilarity!) with the same sort of manic energy that made him a standout on Mad TV. He becomes one of the stars of the film not because of the way Franklin is written, but because what he bring to the table is infectious.

"It's not so bad...in ten years, you'll be the A-List Director of
Iron Man, and I'll be The Lizard."

4)...and to be fair, there are other actors who try...really try...to overcome their underwritten roles, and there are moments when they succeed--like when Faison Love and Michael Taliferro do the little football dance when they're hired--but most of the time they fail. It's kinda painful seeing decent actors like Troy Winbush and Jon Favreau struggle to make a silk purse with the sow's ears they've been given.

5) The script by Vince McKewin tackles the unenviable task of trying to make scabs crossing a picket line the heroes by overcompensating. Thus, all the striking players are played so broadly evil (especially Brett Cullen's Eddie Martel) that they're unbelievable cartoons.

6) And speaking of Martel, we keep hearing about how he's one of the best quarterbacks in the league, and how he won two Super Bowl Rings...and yet, when we see him play, he's a total incompetent. I have to wonder if that's because they wanted to make Falco look better than he is, or if it's just that Howard Deutch doesn't know shit about football.

7) You know what else this is? This is one of those films where plot developments just happen because they have to happen, which creates strange disconnect like, let's say, Martel jeering Falco about his relationship with Brooke Langton's Annabelle when there's no way he could have known about it, or the way the strike is proclaimed over with no warning halfway through the climatic game, or the way Rhys Ifan's Nigel understands that the appearance of three generic thugs in the stands means he has to throw the game, or...

You get the idea.

8) It is so fascinating watching Howard Deutch trying to film convincing football scenes when it's obvious he doesn't know anything about football--and it's fascinating and funny to realize Deutch was working with an actual football coach as a consultant for those scenes.

Cheerleaders that are strippers--COMEDY GOLD!

9) You know what else this is? This is one of those films that has so little confidence in its audience that it stacks the deck for every major development until said audience drowns in its intentions. Thus, when Falco and Annabelle finally get to acknowledge they want each other, we not only get a scene of them looking at each other longing ending in a deep kiss, we get The Police's 'Every Breath You Take' on the soundtrack and John Madden doing a play-by-play that is supposed to 'ironically' mirror the romantic action. It's this sort of overkill--especially when it comes to how the film utilizes its pop music soundtrack--that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

10) And then there's that weird ending voiceover Hackman gives at the end about the replacement players weren't going to get a sneaker endorsement or anything, but their participation in greatness would stick with them. It seems arbitrary (to be honest, it seems like it was added on after a test screening) and intrusive when the closing montage should have been sufficient to close the book on this film.

(and let's not forget that in the real world, a couple of these players would get signed by the NFL, much as refugees from the XFL and Arena Football found spots with teams)

Overall...This is a prime example of Film-As-Product, something so forced and broad that there's no room for audience insight or interpretation. Every time I watch it, I wonder why I still enjoy it...but I do.

I guess sometimes you want a piece of product as a switch up from all the actual, you know, movies you usually ingest.

Ten Statements About....SUPERMAN THE MOVIE (Donner Cut) (1978)

"Please don't start reciting poetry, Lois, or I swear I will
drop you right now."

"Wait! Who are you?"

"A friend."

1) I know there are some people who goof on Marlon Brando's Jor-El. I am not one of them. The genius of Brando's performance is how he approaches Jor-El with a grace and quiet that is extremely similar to Christopher Reeve's performance as Superman. This creates a definite sense of continuity between the two, so that even though they look nothing alike, we believe they're related. This is especially evident in the scenes with Superman consulting the computerized version of his father in the Fortress that were added in this version.

2) You know, Gene Hackman dismissively arranging for detectives to be run over by trains, or tricking Superman through massive misdirection into opening a box full of Kryptonite is pretty damn effective. It's just that so much of his time as Lex Luthor is spent in comedy sequences bullying Ned Beatty and Valerie Perrine and acting overall like the world's most egotistical real estate con man as opposed to behaving like a credible threat. That being said...



Because nothing says evil mastermind than a bad toupee
and a comedy henchman in a straw boater....



3) I have a modicum of affection for Perrine's Ms. Techmacher (and not for the reasons you most of you have for her, so rein it in). Much like Superman III's Loreli, there's obviously more going on in Ms. Techmacher's head than Luthor cares to recognize, and it's to Perrine's credit that much of this is conveyed through her physical acting and verbal choices. And I like the fact that it's Techmacher who allows Superman to escape--not because she's genuinely a good person, because her motivations for doing so are selfish, but because there's something about Supes that moves her to action.

4) It's curious how this film doesn't really disguise that Metropolis is New York playing dress up...and yet manages to create a sense of it as a place all its own (unlike in the hideous Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, where the film was too lazy to cover up posters and other indicators of the film's New York location)..

5) I really liked how the sequence of scenes I call 'Supes' Big Night Out,' beginning with the heliocopter rescue and going through his saving Air Force One, slakes our thirst for super-heroics by giving us a number of cool super-tricks (I especially like his inteaction with the cat burglar), quotable lines and reactions. By the time that set of scenes is over, we get a real sense of Superman's powers and of his 'public face' that we carry with us for the rest of the film.

6) I still contend that Margot Kidder is not a really good Lois Lane overall, but I can certainly see why she was cast as Lois. Not only does she have a good sort of awkward chemistry between Kidder and Reeve, she has a good sense of comic timing that makes what could have been wince-worthy scenes actually flow well, especially the interview scene. However....

"I am a bagel in a briefcase...I am a bagel in a briefcase..."

7) Did Donner really think that Lois' monologue/song-turned-into-a-poem (and as risible as this was, imagine how it would have been as the Salkinds intended it to be, as a full-blown disco song sung by Kidder) needed to stay in the film? I'm thoroughly into the flying sequence, can certainly understand what's going through these two people's head through their physicality and expressions...and then the chilling words 'Can you read my mind?' kills the mood dead.

8) What is it about super-hero movies and newspaper editors? While I have great love for Lane Smith's version on Lois And Clark, Jackie Cooper's Perry White is a joy to watch. Seeing him go through these great monologues in front of his employees is nothing less than entertaining.

9) One of the many truly brilliant things about Christopher Reeve is how, much like Brando's Jor-El, his voice remains level and calm while also conveying a number of emotions. Not only does it put him in sharp contrast with everyone around him, setting him apart from the rest of the cast, but it makes that one inarticulate roar of rage when he finds Lois dead truly heart-breaking.

10) Another truly brilliant thing? It's been said before, but Reeve makes Clark and Supes truly different characters--and you can see how he transforms himself literally in front of the camera so effortlessly that you can one hundred precent believe that everyone around him buys them as different people.

Overall...unapologetic about what it was, this is an essential film for students and fans of super-hero movies, a near-perfect machine that just ticks along never faltering for a second.