Ten Statements About....COLLATERAL (2004)

In this movie, Jason Statham is not the baddest mofo in the
room...

"Tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody's killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eyelash, Max? Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save The Whales, Greenpeace or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit."

1) You know why I truly like this movie? Michael Mann takes three actors I honestly don't care for, two of which I think are truly lazy in their choice of films and their performances...and wrings performances out of them that thoroughly blow me away.

2) And it's not just the performances. Notice how Mann chooses to use a dark, deep color palette for the majority of the film--not because it looks cool (which it does), but because it makes Tom Cruise's Vincent, with his grey hair and suit, stand out from everything else, an unwelcome interloper in Max's world.

3) Of course, before Vincent makes the scene, Mann takes his time not only setting up Max's world but letting the scene between him and Annie unfurl at a leisurely pace. This opening conversation does two things--it actually establishes a chemistry and a selfish reason for Max to want to save Annie later, and also ties into the whole theme of coincidence that seems to run as an undercurrent in this film. That Jada Pinkett Smith and Jamie Foxx are able to dial themselves down so that we get a sense of these two people as people, and understand why Annie might have an attraction to Max, gives that aspect of the film a veracity so many other thrillers don't bother to establish.

4) Perhaps the most intriguing thing about Tom Cruise's performance here is the way you get a sense that Vincent has some strange form of feeling (respect? like?) toward Max. It's not exactly conveyed in a conventional way, but see how he encourages Max to stand up to boss or builds Max up in his mother's eye--this is one professional recognizing another and endeavoring to help him out. Hell, even that sneering monologue where Vincent mocks Max for never really intending to get his limo company off the ground can be construed as a pep talk to motivate him to move forward with his life.  Even after Max tries to sabotage his agenda, Vincent seems somewhat protective of him (he doesn't carry through on his promise to kill his mother even hen Max actively hinders him).

Two professionals in a taxi cab...but it's not confessions
that are fueling this trip....

5) Of course, would this film have worked if Cruise wasn't willing to let go of his own vanity and let his real self show up on screen...and such a simple thing as showing up unshaven with grey hair severs the man on the screen to our perception of Cruise as a star. And similar de-glamorization happens with our other leads.

He may look like an ally...but this film
isn't about wrapping things up into
neat little packages...

6) Another thing I love about Mann--he loves actors who look like real people, not actors. Who else has used Bruce McGill as often as he has? Even the smallest roles--Javier Bardem showing up as a crime boss for a single extended scene, or Debbie Mazur and Bodhi Elfman popping up to argue in the back of Max's cab seem like real people, which adds to the realism of this world Mann is presenting.

7) And speaking of McGill's Pedrosa--I appreciate how the script by Stuart Beattie builds up both his and Mark Ruffalo's Detective Fanning's role...only to have them unceremoniously killed off during the sequence at Fever. This just emphasizes the whole coincidence theme, and makes Vincent come off not as the cool, collected pro he passes himself off as, but as a chaotic force of nature.

8) I have to say--while I can accept the use of many of the songs in the film since they're ambient noise tied into specific locations, the sudden appearance on the soundtrack of that one ballad after the coyotes cross the street in front of Max's cab briefly shocked me out of the film. It's not just because it's so out of character with James Newton Howard's bluesy film noir score, but because it's the one note of artifice in a film that up until then has tried to keep its feet somewhat in the realistic.

9) I had always heard that Peter Berg started his career as an actor--but I never recognized him as such until seeing him here...and ironically it's his character's inability to accept Fanning's insistence that there's a pattern to the events of this night that saves him.

10) And one of the great things that Beattie's script does is makes Max's motives selfish on some level. Yes, he is doing something heroic when he throws Vincent's briefcase containing his agenda onto the highway--but only after he feels ashamed by Vincent's lying on his account. Yes, he tries to stop Vincent by causing a car wreck--but only after Vincent mocks him. Yes, he works hard to save Annie--but there's always the nagging feeling that he does so because he knows and is attracted to her, as opposed to the previous victims.

Overall...a magnificent little thriller with echos of noir fueled by the exceptional performances by Cruise and Foxx (and to a lesser extent Pinkett Smith), a clever, smart and philosophical script by Beattie, and Mann's excellent muted direction.

BRAVE VIEWED WORLD 2011 Edition Week One

It's the middle of September, which means the Broadcast Networks (are there 'broadcast networks' anymore, given how everything is all digital now?) are marching out their bright shiny new shows, hoping to lure us away from our cable addictions for a couple of months.

So what I've decided to do is take a look at the pilots of all the shows that even vaguely interest me--as you'll learn, many of these are looked at because, well, I once crushed on an actress contained within--and give you my impressions, ending with whether I plan on giving the show a second watch or not. This entry will be rather longish, but I imagine the next two or three weeks will be noticably shorter.

Alright, ramblers...let's get rambling.

2 Broke Girls: Much like NBC Thursday Night sitcoms of the late 80's and early 90's, CBS Monday Night Sitcoms have codified into their very own brand. To be specific, CBS Monday Night comedies are set in urban environments and posture like they're hip urban shows...when their real intent is quite the opposite. They're designed to let the suburban and flyover types know that they've made the right decision--that the people that society hail as sophisticated and intelligent are really freaks and weirdos. Hell, this network is so skilled in finding these shows that they managed to unleash one that makes geek culture out to be pathetic, stupid and contemptuously laughable--and yet has convinced the bulk of Geek Nation that it's actually a love letter to them.

Pretty girls laughing at you in a superior way...apparently
Bowling For Soup was right, and High School Never Ends.

Loving the significant other that shows us nothing but disrespect...that's the American way.

I say that to say this: 2 Broke Girls is definitely in that CBS Monday Night Sitcom mode. I decided to watch it based on my fondness for Kat Dennings, who has proven to be a clever and able actress...but this is one mean-spirited, cynical and nasty show (you know, much like the aforementioned Big Bang Theory, except this one doesn't have a Barenaked Ladies theme song). We're supposed to identify with Dennings' Kat because she constantly belittles and shows up all the hipsters surrounding her, but--much like BBT's Sheldon--her behavior is so unpleasant and rude that you can't get behind her. And her world is populated by grotesques--the tiny Asian owner of the diner, the salacious cook, the boho musician boyfriend who cheats on her--who seem to be there just so Max can gain points and 'woohoos' from the Fox News Drones who obviously make up the target audience of this slate of shows. The only character who seems to be genuinely pleasant and fun to see is Garrett Morris' cashier, and he has maybe four lines total.

And then there's the other Broke Girl, Caroline played with broad lack-of-appeal by Beth Behrs, who is obviously meant to be a broad parody of Paris Hilton (who is namechecked). It's painful to watch her try to breathe life into a cartoon, and the 'bonding' between her and Max comes off as forced. It's obvious to me that The Manhattanite Rich are the true freaks of this show...hell, Max even has a second job as a nanny to a second Manhattanite so we can get double the sneering laughter at how stupid and helpless and out of touch with Real Amurricans they are.

To be fair, this one doesn't raise my hackles up as much as Big Bang Theory did, and continues to do, but...fuck this show. I won't be back.

New Girl: This sitcom was apparently built on the idea that Guys Like Zooey Deschanel, not the least because she is pretty much Geek Nation's Ideal Girlfriend--hot, nerd-knowledgable, approachable and seriously quirky. I bet Ben Gibbard is glad he snapped her up before things got out of hand.

It's Zoeey Deschanel...smiling...in nerdette
glasses!  Must...resist...falling....

Here's the thing, though; throughout the pilot, I never got the sense that neither Deschanel's character Jessie or the three guys into whose impossibly spacious apartment she moves into are anything more than Quirks On Two Legs. I never felt this quartet of main characters had a life before the set-up, and the show seems to be in love with the strange habits of each one (Hey, Jessie likes to sing at inappropriate moments! One guy has anger issues! Another guy has a Douchebag Jar!). It's sad given the talent on display--not only am I a fan of Deschanel, I really liked Max Greenberg during his brief turn as a romantic interest on Veronica Mars. I laughed maybe twice, and I am feeling the same way about this I felt about Shit My Dad Said last year, where I was torn between wanting a weekly dose of Nicole Sullivan and not wanting her stuck in such a crap sitcom--I want to support Zooey, but I have a sneaking suspicion I don't want to spend a half hour every week with these cyphers. I may give it one more shot.

Unforgetable: My first drama, one I decided to watch because I was intrigued by the premise, and because I used to have a crush on Poppy Montgomery when she played coroner Ellie Sparks in the very short lived Kevin Williamson soaper-with-something-spooky Glory Days (which still has one of the best taglines of any television series ever: 'Welcome to Glory. Population...dwindling'). And one of the first things that strikes you about this series is how it conforms to CBS' Crime Drama meme. It's all there--the mood lighting, the mix of soft jazz and pop music as a score, the sepia-toned arty cinematography and echoey sound mix when it comes to flashbacks. You could swap out Montgomery and romantic and professional foil Dylan Walsh with any of the CSI groups without any disruption of the episode's flow.

"Wait...wait...is that Gary Sinese shooting up the block?"

And yet...there is definitely something about this show that is compelling. Most of it is how Montgomery's Carrie Wells is one of those people who seem to enjoy her particular talent; so many other crime dramas like this seem to delight in showing us how unhappy these people are with being unique, and seeing Carrie reel off facts and figures with that uniquely sexy smile on her face is simply fun. But I have to wonder if all there is. The twist in the mystery, quite frankly, was so thunderingly obvious you had to wonder why no one in the squad brought up the possibility and the overarc (because every single CBS Crime Drama needs to have their leads haunted by a Case They Never Solved) is still so sketchy as to be unreadable at this moment.

Whether this series succeeds beyond an initial thirteen week commitment rests on whether the producers managed to build a compelling enough structure around Wells; if all they're giving us is just another CBS Crime Drama with Poppy Montgomery--who, let's be honest, hasn't had to carry a show by herself before--they might find their watching populace...dwindling. But for the time being I'll give it an episode or two more.

The Office: Yes, it's not a new program, but it's the first one with James Spader in the driver's seat, so it's a new show to me. And, as anyone who listens to my podcast knows, Spader is one of my favorite actors. Hell, I put up with the miserable bullcrap David E. Kelley shoveled on my head during the four years of Boston Legal just to get a weekly dose of Spader-y goodness.

Beware James Spader and his enigma-stare!

Which brings us to this episode, and Spader's first turn as CEO of the titular office. I gotta be honest--I found the show thoroughly inpenetrable...but since Spader's Robert California seems to be a willful spanner in the works, intentionally finding ways to put everyone off balance to keep them on their toes in the name of 'positive reinforcement', it really doesn't matter that I don't know who anyone is. There's a certain joy in seeing California behave in this strange, enigmatic way that only Spader can pull off just to see how the people around him will react. So yes, because it's James Spader, I am going to watch some more.



Yep...only good thing in this show...



Whitney: This however....God, this show (watched only because it's between The Office and Prime Suspect) is a microcosm of everything I hate about the modern sitcom: people who just don't interact like real human beings and speak in great gobs of exposition, supporting characters who seem to have no life outside of the scenes they're in, plotting that's on the rails to the point of predictable...and all delivered by an actress who is admittedly hellacute (and fills out a naughty nurse outfit quite admirably) but seems devoid of charisma. Whitney Cummings has this weird habit of acting through her forearms--every statement is punctuated with this rotating of her hands outwards until they're at a right angle from her body--that is truly and sincerely annoying. It also doesn't help that the actor playing her boyfriend is thoroughly bland. I hated these people about five minutes in, wanted them all to die, and hope to never have to think about this show ever, ever again.

Prime Suspect: Admittedly, I wanted to see this pilot not because I was intrigued--even though I think Maria Bello is a Hell of An Actress--but because the rumor was that this was a legendarily bad first episode.

Don't look at me that way. Everyone loves a train wreck.

But...but...it's Maria Bello...in a funky hat!  Don't you wanna
watch now?

And to be fair, this pilot--directed by personal favorite Peter Berg--is not legendarily bad. Oh, it has bad elements to it, but it also has some pretty good elements to it as well. Once you get past the sweeping overhead shots of New York, there's a definite subdued look to the show with an emphasis on whites and earth tones. I also like how many of the actors surrounding Bello tend toward the subdued as well, as if they're trying to shore up the fact that this is a serious show. I particularly liked Aiden Quinn's turn as the Chief of Detectives.

However...there is a definite schism in how this series see itself, and only half of that schism works. When we have Bello waving around her gun to harass a taxi driver or blackmail her fiance's ex-wife into giving him visitation, the show just falls to pieces. On the other hand, when we have Bello telling a child who witnessed his mother's murder that she would help him kill the murderer or utilizes her knowledge of vice to exonerate a suspect, the show works. The show runner is really going to have to decide whether this is going to be a character drama where the characters happen to be cops or a 'case of the week' show...because as much as I disliked all the character drama stuff, I still think Bello could pull it off by sheer dint of talent, but being pulled in two directions like she was in this pilot, the show will never find its footing.

I am going to give this some more viewings to see if the producers resolve the show's schizophrenic nature.

Next Week...two pilots I didn't cover from this week, plus dinosaurs and Christina Ricci in a tight stewardess' dress.

Ten Statements About....HANCOCK (2008)

These two people--and how they change each other's
lives--is what this movie should be about.

"You're built to save people, more than the rest of us. That's who you are. You're a hero, the Insurance Policy Of The Gods."

1) I can't lie; it really, really bothers me that Peter Berg is making this and the upcoming...grumblemutter...Battleship (Starring The Amazing Eighthead That Walks Like A Singer, Rhianna!) rather than more personal dramas like Friday Night Lights and witty adventure films like the Franchise-That-Never-Was, The Rundown.

2) And you can see why it bothers me at moments in the first two acts. For example, the way Berg uses a documentary-style structure when doing the scenes with Jason Bateman's Ray, even to the point of using a grainier film stock, creates a subliminal intimacy with him that puts us on his side and gives him our sympathy.

3) At its core, this is a film about two men and how they make each other better; the fact that one of them has super-human powers is only an obstacle to overcome. The second that third act hits, however, and the films decides it wants to be about this grand mythology and big, unnecessary fight scenes and even more unnecessary villains, the story totally collapses.

4) Wow...it seems the only thing Vince Gilligan, who co-wrote this script, learned while serving under Chris Carter is how to obscure that he's making shit up as he goes along.

Usually, if you complain about Charlize Theron being in a
movie, they question your manhood.  Here, however...

5) John Powell's score is the worst kind of score--one of those Carpets of Sound that is so intent on telling us what we need to feel that they become intrusive. There are moments where the actors are, you know, doing their job and conveying what we need to know through body language (like the brief sequence where we first visit Hancock's trailer, and Will Smith's confusion and lonliness is palatable)...but Powell's blaring noisework just screams at you in the hopes you'll get it so much quicker. Well, Mr. Powell...screw you.

6) There are so many elements that get shoved into that third act that just muddy the waters of the plot--and none are nearly as muddying as Eddie Marsan's Red. There is simply no reason for him to come back save that the writers were afraid the audience wouldn't accept Hancock making the decision to leave L.A. just because it's the best thing for the two people--Ray and his son--who helped him become a better person without him (or worse, Ray) hitting somebody really, really hard.

Here, Will Smith drags composer John Powell's car back
to answer for his crimes against music....

7) You know why I love Charlize Theron? She's gorgeous, but in an extremely earthy way. And she acts like an actual human being, someone you could theoretically run into in your neighborhood. And, not surprisingly, she's at her strongest when we take it for face value that she's just like us.

8) I will give the special effects work credit--I didn't notice the CGI nearly as much as I probably should have.

9) Yes, this is a Peter Berg directed film...but you can certainly see Michael Mann's fingerprints in all the wet floors and neon of the hospital sequence at the end.

10) I can't help thinking that there have to be some consequences to defacing the moon like Hancock does in the final scene. Even granted it's paint...don't you think Ray would get in some sort of trouble?

Overall...when it's about Ray, this decent man rehabilitating and redeeming this broken down superhuman, the film actually works very well. But once we get that big revelation at the end of Act Two and the scripts starts deciding it needs some mythology to give the film gravitas, it lost me. It hasn't forced me to abandon my faith in Berg as a director, but it doesn't exactly confirm it, either.

Ten Statements About....THE LOSERS (2010)

Nope...nothing subtle about this photo...nothing a'tall...

1) This film rises and falls on the chemistry of its leads....and luckily, that chemistry is there from the first frame. Because we believe these five people have a history, we can go along with all the wild insanity that follows them throughout this movie.

2) I liked the fact that the film never shied away from acknowledging its comic book roots, from the Jock-drawn introductory cards to the place titles done in the style of the comic's logo.

3) It took a while, but Jeffrey Dean Morgan has managed to find his place in the world. His raw-but-smooth voice, his body language and the way he handles firearms makes him this generation's 'quiet cool' action star along the lines of Clint Eastwood.

4) The script, by Peter Berg and James Vanderbilt, understands a fundamental rule of action filmmaking--keep it moving, keep it fast. And, refreshingly, the film also understand what far too many filmmakers these days don't...namely, that not every movie needs to be two hours or more. Some, like this one, are perfectly fine at a little over ninety minutes.

5) Another clever thing about the script--Berg and Vanderbilt cleverly seed the film with a few outlandish element like the 'snuke' that pretty much clue the audience into the fact that this is Not A Realistic Film...thus allowing director Sylvain White to go a little overboard with the stylized action. And speaking of overboard...

6)...one of the two weaknesses lie in Jason Patric's villian, Max. He certainly digs into the role with both hands, but oversteps the generous boundaries set up by Berg and Vanderbilt. It doesn't help that Max seems to have invaded the world of The Losers from the land of Mark Millar, with the way he casually kills, or orders killed, people for the simplest of reasons, makes racist comments and primps like a cartoon transvestite.

7) A little better is Holt McCallany as Wade, Max's henchman, who has a similar 'quiet cool' feel about him, and has a wry delivery that is highly reminiscent of Clancy Brown.

Cougar, he may not know much English..but he knows he's coo'.

8) Chris Evans should have Ryan Reynolds' career, if not his wife. The man does everything that ass-hat does in terms of comic timing and handling action moments, only he does it better. His give and take with both Columbus Short's Pooch and Oscar Jaenada's Cougar goes a long way to cementing the sense that the leads have a history prior to the film. Anyone worried about him being Captain America needs to shut up.

(Hell, on second thought, give Evans Reynolds' wife. That asshat doesn't deserve coming home to Scarlett Johanssen every night.)

"Alright, Reynolds...hand her over..."

9) The other big weakness is how the film very, very self-consciously presumes there's going to be a sequel. Yes, there's a final confrontation between Morgan's Clay and Patric's Max, but it ends up being too short, and no amount of humorous codas featuring Patric getting mugged on a public bus can help disguise that.

10) I still don't get why everyone is going nuts over Zoe Saldana, who seems to have that Ally-Sheedy-like tendency to let her smirk do all her acting, but she does show up in a number of revealing outfits, including a black corset-and-panties number she engages in a firefight in. I'm sore a lot of people would argue that there's nothing at all wrong with that; I'm just not one of them. I fear she is going to go the way of all these 'It Girls' who disappear after two or three years of intense stardom.

In short--it's a big, dumb, action movie with very little touch in touch with reality. But the cast of known-but-not-very-known stars manages to hold it all together by sheer dint of chemistry.

Incidentally, there was a strange frission going on in the trailers, as we were treated to The A-Team (There are shorts where Liam Neeson looks positively eireely like George Peppard), The Takers and The Expendables....all films about outlaw mercenaries trying to pull off impossible missions, all but The Takers to clear their names. It only emphasized how in marchstep some of these studios are creatively. But at least they're better than Lottery Ticket or...shudder....Step Up 3-D. Who is actually watching movies like this? Who'd be willing to watch movies like this in 3-D?

Oh, and this is the first time I had to pay nine dollars for a matinee show. Thank God the film was worth it.