Ten Statements About....THE WORLD’S END (2013)

"Alright, everybody, here's a map to the funny bits."

"Tonight, we will be partaking of a liquid meal, as we wind our way up the golden mile commencing with an inaugural tankard in The First Post, then on to The Old Familiar, The Good Companion, The Trusty Servant, The Two-Headed Dog, The Mermaid, The Beehive, The King's Head, and The Hole In The Wall for a measure of the same. All before the last bittersweet pint in that most fateful, The World's End.  Leave a light on good ladies, although we may return with a twinkle in our eyes, we will be in truth blind drunk."

1) Why is it that everyone else seems to understand making effective John Carpenter movies these days better than, you know, John Carpenter?  For just as Shaun of the Dead is the best George Romero movie not made by George Romero, this is the best Carpenter science-fiction film Carpenter never made.

2) ...although what Edgar Wright does that, let’s say, Neil Marshall doesn’t do in Doomsday (which also expressed much Carpenter love) is take elements and themes that Carpenter used in many of his 80‘s films and fused them with elements and themes that Wright himself is obsessed with to create something unique.

3) One of the genius things about the way the film is structured is how it’s something Carpenter has never done in any of his classic science fiction films--namely, it turns out to be an origin for a archtypical Carpenter hero, down to the rather heroically silly name.

4) If we accept The World’s End as the end of a loose trilogy that includes Shaun of The Dead and Hot Fuzz, I like how our two leads have effectively switched places psychologically in this film, with Nick Frost being the level-headed one and Simon Pegg being the screw up...which makes their role in the third act all the more surprising.

I would go through twelve pubs to fight by the side of
Rosamund Pike...and I don't even drink.

5) I love how Wright casts actors in roles I don’t expect them to be in.  Paddy Constandine, in particular, is effectively cast against type.  That being said, I almost didn’t register Pierce Brosnan (who must be here because Wright loves James Bond, as all good red-blooded men are) in his role until well into the movie itself.

6) Oh, Rosamund Pike...even looking sorta dowdy, you are a vision on loveliness...plus I figured your times in the Bond mines made you look kick-ass in the fight scenes.

7) What was the point of the giant sculpture thingie on the village green, other than to give us a wacko visual during the second act?

Oh, show me the way to the next Carpenter film/Oh,
don't ask why/Oh, don't ask why

8) Thank God this is another light-hearted, action-inclusive comedy that was allowed to be rated R.  I shudder to think how this movie, which relies so much on alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, mental illness and other darker themes, would play as a PG-13 film.

9) I appreciated the thought that was put into The Network, its motivations and its modus operandi.  It gave the menace more of a nuance (something else that Carpenter seems to not be interested in in many of his films).  Plus it allows some interpretation about whether Gary’s actions ultimately was for the benefit of humanity or not.

10) I do like how, even though Wright gives us the kind of dark, apocalyptic ending Carpenter was fond of, all of our characters got what they wanted...even if what they wanted wasn’t exactly in the pristine way they wanted it.

Overall...a great little picture that shows John Carpenter how he used to be able to do it, but with the kind of sensibility only Edgar Wright can pull off.

It was off to the Atlas for this, where I was the only patron save for three other folks, which was...kinda sad.  Amongst the trailers were The Fifth Estate (Bernard Cumberbatch in a bleached blonde wig is the most shocking thing in this flick, apparently); Insidious 2 (another one of these ‘we showed these people the movie and look how scared they got’ trailer, which I think undermines the fact that it’s a sequel to a really effective, really good James Wan flick) and Getaway (I just don’t get Selena Gomez.  I certainly don’t get Selena Gomez trying to act all gangsta and stuff).  Oddly enough, the most fun I had prior to the show came from watching that risible Firstlook puff piece on The Crazy Ones, where Robin Williams improvises a sexy fast food song in front of Kelly Clarkson.

Ten Statements About....WRATH OF THE TITANS (2012)

"I am a Titan!  Behold My Wrathy Goodness!"

"You want me to say it, brother? You want me to say I'm afraid? Doesn't that go without saying? When mortals die, their souls go somewhere - there's no place where gods go when they die! There's nothing, just oblivion..."

1) Now I'm not sure if it was because I came in a minute or two late, or if it was because I had not seen the first film in this iteration....but there are moments where I was totally lost, and couldn't figure out who was who, what their relationship were and what the actual plot was. After a bit, I found it best to just not worry about this and let the silliness wash over me.

2) Even though there were a couple of moments where I was shocked at how aged she looked, on the whole I was extremely happy seeing Rosamund Pike running around in battle armor and being all shouty---however, I definitely preferred her as a redhead. And while we're on the subject of Rosamund Pike....

3) I know Pike's Queen Andromeda is in this film primarily so Perseus has someone to snog (what, you guys couldn't get Gemma Atherton back?)...but the script by Dan Mazeau and David Leslie Johnson (off a story by the two of them and Greg Berlanti) seems to leave the character arc that brings them both together woefully underdeveloped. It's almost like we're supposed to assume that Andromeda's had the whim-whams for Perseus all this time, and was waiting for his wife to pass on.

4) As much as I dislike CGI, I have to admit that there are some moments here that are pulled off very well. The flying sequences with Perseus astride Pegasus, in particular, were very striking in the way the horse seemed to be using its canter to move itself through the air. There's a definite sense that this CGI team is putting thought in the weight and movement some of these creatures have.

5) That being said....wow, The actual Titan that's being all Wrathy is a confused, badly designed mess. Of all the monster sequences, it's the most disappointing as I simply had no idea what the Hell was happening.

"This is....SPARTA--I mean a Giant Hand!"

6) Okay, we get it--you guys think the little robot owl in the original Clash of The Titans sucked....dragging it out again to have Bill Nighy's Hespestus yell at it is just, well, gratuitous.

7) I know there are a number of people, including my friend and partner on BiTD Derrick Ferguson, who think Sam Worthington is a real cool action actor. I just don't see it. He seems cut from the same Generic Historic Fantasy Hero cloth as Geoffrey Butler in 300 and Henry Cavil in Immortals. Hell, he actually comes off as somewhat underwhelming at times.

8) You know who else is underwhelming? Edgar Ramirez' Ares. A villain like this is supposed to be sly enough to trick Zeus and Hades and be nasty enough to give Perseus pause....but truth be told, Ramirez comes off as a petulant child (which, let's be fair, he is) with not enough guile and cleverness to fool me, let alone the three patriarchal Gods of Greek Myth. And it also doesn't help that his moves don't ever come off as a surprise--the script sets things up so neatly that when Ares rocks up to slaughter his worshipper about halfway through, we're so well prepared all we can do is yawn.

It is Rosamund Pike dressed as a warrior queen about to lead
a band of Grecian bad-asses in beating you up.  Your argument
is no longer valid.

9) I think I'd rather watch Liam-Neeson-In-A-Spangly-Robe instead of Liam-Neeson-In-Dungeons-And-Dragons-Cosplay-Robes.

10) The thing I find the most amusing is that the characters with the strongest arcs here aren't Perseus and Andromeda...it's Zeus and Hades. Now maybe this is because Liam Neeson and Ralph Finees are such good actors they dug out a character arc where there was none, but I have to admit I got involved with the reconciliation of these two beings in the form of men, and loved how a major portion of the climax is the two of them standing side by side fighting for mankind.

Overall...even though there are some grace notes provided by Neeson, Finnes, Pike and others, you can never quite escape the sense that this is not bad, it's not good...it's just Product.