Sunday, April 24, 2011

Ten Statements About....BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE (1959)

"Raaaah...I'm a Monsta!  No, really..."
1) You know what would make this somewhat dull, extremely dopey heist flick even more exciting? Some crazy insect-thingie in an abandoned mine in South Dakota webbing up the cast members and....well, ummm, apparently licking them with its overlong tongue,

2) Remember when every heist film had to have some lame comedy relief character among its number, like maybe the guy in the improbably loud alpine hat who keeps adjusting its brim in this film?

Yeah, I hated those characters, too....

3) Richard Sinatra? Frank Stallone and Joe Estevez are already waiting for you.

4) Monte Hellman directed this. Yes, Two Lane Blacktop Monte Hellman.

I'm as surprised as you are.

5) The South Dakota setting does add a little novelty to the story, even if the story is so dull and badly paced that it's positively sophorific.

6) Frank Wolff has either the strangest dye-job ever or is wearing a strange wig. It's rather surprising that Wolff actively carved out a really formidable career in Spaghetti westerns ten years later given his scenery-chewing performance.

In 1959...this could be considered racy
7) It's obvious Shiela Noonan (billed as Shiela Carol) was chosen not for any talent, but for her looks (she resembles Carol Lynley, oddly enough); this is one of only three credits she has on imdb. The sad thing is she has what is arguably the most complex character, yet is thoroughly incapable of carrying off said complexity.

8) Given what happens and the extent to which the criminals go to, stealing a few gold bars seems like a particularly petty heist.

9) What is the purpose of hero Gil Jackson's sister outside of that one scene where Richard Sinatra macks on her at the beginning.

This is not how I pictured Monte Hellman making
his first appearance on this blog.

10) That, that monster is goofy looking.

Overall...a very below average mish-mosh of stuff which is notable mostly for who directed it.

This was one of the five films in a public domain collection of Roger Corman Drive-In Classic. I must say that I loved the title menu, which featured an actual Drive-In movie theater featurette playing on a mock-drive-in screen.

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