Monday, April 9, 2012

Ten Statements About....WRATH OF THE TITANS (2012)

"I am a Titan!  Behold My Wrathy Goodness!"
"You want me to say it, brother? You want me to say I'm afraid? Doesn't that go without saying? When mortals die, their souls go somewhere - there's no place where gods go when they die! There's nothing, just oblivion..."

1) Now I'm not sure if it was because I came in a minute or two late, or if it was because I had not seen the first film in this iteration....but there are moments where I was totally lost, and couldn't figure out who was who, what their relationship were and what the actual plot was. After a bit, I found it best to just not worry about this and let the silliness wash over me.

2) Even though there were a couple of moments where I was shocked at how aged she looked, on the whole I was extremely happy seeing Rosamund Pike running around in battle armor and being all shouty---however, I definitely preferred her as a redhead. And while we're on the subject of Rosamund Pike....

3) I know Pike's Queen Andromeda is in this film primarily so Perseus has someone to snog (what, you guys couldn't get Gemma Atherton back?)...but the script by Dan Mazeau and David Leslie Johnson (off a story by the two of them and Greg Berlanti) seems to leave the character arc that brings them both together woefully underdeveloped. It's almost like we're supposed to assume that Andromeda's had the whim-whams for Perseus all this time, and was waiting for his wife to pass on.

4) As much as I dislike CGI, I have to admit that there are some moments here that are pulled off very well. The flying sequences with Perseus astride Pegasus, in particular, were very striking in the way the horse seemed to be using its canter to move itself through the air. There's a definite sense that this CGI team is putting thought in the weight and movement some of these creatures have.

5) That being, The actual Titan that's being all Wrathy is a confused, badly designed mess. Of all the monster sequences, it's the most disappointing as I simply had no idea what the Hell was happening.
"This is....SPARTA--I mean a Giant Hand!"

6) Okay, we get it--you guys think the little robot owl in the original Clash of The Titans sucked....dragging it out again to have Bill Nighy's Hespestus yell at it is just, well, gratuitous.

7) I know there are a number of people, including my friend and partner on BiTD Derrick Ferguson, who think Sam Worthington is a real cool action actor. I just don't see it. He seems cut from the same Generic Historic Fantasy Hero cloth as Geoffrey Butler in 300 and Henry Cavil in Immortals. Hell, he actually comes off as somewhat underwhelming at times.

8) You know who else is underwhelming? Edgar Ramirez' Ares. A villain like this is supposed to be sly enough to trick Zeus and Hades and be nasty enough to give Perseus pause....but truth be told, Ramirez comes off as a petulant child (which, let's be fair, he is) with not enough guile and cleverness to fool me, let alone the three patriarchal Gods of Greek Myth. And it also doesn't help that his moves don't ever come off as a surprise--the script sets things up so neatly that when Ares rocks up to slaughter his worshipper about halfway through, we're so well prepared all we can do is yawn.
It is Rosamund Pike dressed as a warrior queen about to lead
a band of Grecian bad-asses in beating you up.  Your argument
is no longer valid.

9) I think I'd rather watch Liam-Neeson-In-A-Spangly-Robe instead of Liam-Neeson-In-Dungeons-And-Dragons-Cosplay-Robes.

10) The thing I find the most amusing is that the characters with the strongest arcs here aren't Perseus and's Zeus and Hades. Now maybe this is because Liam Neeson and Ralph Finees are such good actors they dug out a character arc where there was none, but I have to admit I got involved with the reconciliation of these two beings in the form of men, and loved how a major portion of the climax is the two of them standing side by side fighting for mankind.

Overall...even though there are some grace notes provided by Neeson, Finnes, Pike and others, you can never quite escape the sense that this is not bad, it's not's just Product.

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